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WWE Wrestlemania 34 4/8/18 Full Show Review & Results; THE MOST UNDERWHELMING WRESTLEMANIA ALL TIME.

December 14, 2019


oh my god oh my god I don’t even know
where to begin I don’t know where to begin I don’t know how long this video
is going to be I don’t know how much my ass is going to be hurting me from
sitting on this chair doing this fucking WrestleMania dirty for review I don’t
even know where to begin I don’t even know what a match to start with I have
so much to cover it’s gonna be by far my longest review written by far it’s gonna
be my longest video and if you guys sit here and watch the whole video I commend
you because it’s gonna be a long one I got a lot to cover I got a lot of
opinions that I want to express in this review I’m going to try to not to scream
or curse but I’m not going to guarantee that right now WrestleMania 34 I was there sitting in
the stands section 201 looking at the card ten matches that were on the card
looking at it stacked stacked fucking card dream matches WrestleMania debuts tag-team titles on the line women titles
on the lines shrieks on the line company guys on the
line looking at the card you say wow this is gonna be the best WrestleMania
of all time stacked the matches on paper looked fucking phenomenal but you know
what guys it was nothing but hype it was nothing
but hype because WrestleMania 34 was very underwhelming WrestleMania is a
overly hyped pay-per-view every year they hype it it’s the grandest stage of
them all but at the end of the day it’s just hype Vince McMahon should be embarrassed stephanie mcmahon shane mcmahon triple-h
they should be embarrassed of the shit that they presented the WWE Universe on
Sunday night now I don’t want to shit all over the
product because there was some entertaining moments and there was about
two or three matches out of the fucking ten on this show that we’re good
that was excellent the oscar match was phenomenal I think the oscar match and
Charlotte Flair was the fucking best match on the fucking show the women stole the show at WrestleMania Ronda
Rousey was the MVP of Wrestlemania she was the MVP at WrestleMania but you
would think you have a Nakamura you have an AJ Styles you have a Brock Lester you
have a fucking Roman reigns you have a finn bálor you have a Stef Rollins you
would think one of those guys would be the MVP of Wrestlemania but now Ronda
Rousey was the MVP of Wrestlemania by far not even close at nine o’clock when
nine o’clock struck it was like a fucking plane in the air crashing down
that’s what WrestleMania was come 9:00 o’clock we were here flying everything
was good you know we’re trying to get to our destination all of a sudden mmm Wrestlemania exploded exploded Vince
McMahon should be embarrassed I cannot fathom I cannot fathom and I cannot
think in my mind that Vince McMahon is pleased and thrilled about this
pay-per-view I can’t imagine that he is fuckin thrilled about this pay-per-view
about the WrestleMania event was it the worst WrestleMania of all ye of all time
no it wasn’t it wasn’t the worst WrestleMania of all time but was it the
most disappointing WrestleMania of all time fuck yes it was the most
disappointing WrestleMania of all time no doubt in my mind this WrestleMania is
number one on the list of disappointment the Nakamura AJ Styles dream match the
match that everyone wanted to see for many many many years we finally get it
on Sunday and what happened we were all disappointed on the outcome and the
match itself because it was god awful it was god awful and it was boring boring
as shit shockingly boring as shit because you see Nakamura and AJ Styles
on paper and you say that’s gonna be a fucking seven star match surpassing a 5
star match is gonna be a seven star match but guess what it was probably a
fucking one a fucking one honestly I feel Vince McMahon sabotage
WrestleMania I really do I feel like he sabotage this match
because he knows if he lets Nakamura and AJ Styles go out there and give us a
seven star match before the Roman reigns Brock Lesnar match it’s gonna fucking
blow that match out the water so they told Nakamura and AJ keep it in first
gear and don’t go any fucking further just keep it in first gear and don’t
fucking blow the roof off the Superdome in New Orleans and that’s exactly what
happened in my eyes in my opinion I feel that bitching man sabotage that match he
sabotaged it and then he turns Nakamura heel out of all fucking people he turns
Nakamura heel let’s see how good that’s gonna work by turning Nakamura heel out
of all people the most beloved fucking rock star superstar that we have on
Smackdown and well known all over the fucking world in Japan we’re gonna turn
him heel there goes Nakamura mystique and his entrance and it’s love for the
w/e fans buried buried WrestleMania is nothing but hype
guys I don’t know what else to fucking say I really don’t so they sabotage this fucking match
right AJ Styles and Shinsegae Nakamura then the next match following that is
the raw tag team titles the raw tag team titles the bar versus braun strowman and
his mystery partner mystery partner okay I’m sitting in the crowd at this point
and we have one more match before this tag team match and I’m saying wow they
put this match after the WWE dream match so I’m saying to myself well maybe
they’re gonna do something big right maybe they’re gonna announce fucking CM
Punk returning and being fucking braun strowman’s partner or bobby lashley is
gonna be braun strowman’s partner someone big Hulk Hogan the immortal Hulk
Hogan is coming out in a few minutes and he’s gonna be braun strowman’s fucking
partner to take on the bar no no braun strowman takes his mike says he’s
waited all the way to wrestlemania to announce his part i’m saying oh this is
gonna be good this is gonna be fucking good
no braun strowman announces a fucking ten-year-old child to be his tag-team
partner at this point i wanted to get up from my chair and leave the arena what a
disgrace to the raw tag team titles what a disgrace
Vince McMahon should be embarrassed of himself what an embarrassment embarrassment to all the WWE Tag Team
Champions of the past what an embarrassment I was sitting in the
airport to fly back from New Orleans and I’m sitting there on my friend Jim
shoutout to you Jim thanks for coming with me into Wrestlemania
you’re the fucking man we’re sitting there mmm and I tell Jim hey Jim that
looks like Brian nobs over there from the nasty boys waiting in line to check
in to his fucking plane flight and I’m thinking to myself damn how did the
nasty boys feel about this 10 year old child winning the WWE Tag Team
Championship Brian nobs had to be put in a wheelchair
in the airport and they had to wheel him to his plane they had to wheel him in a
fucking wheelchair to his fucking plane because he couldn’t walk then I waved to
him and Jim waved to him and gave him one of these and he waved back you know
what he said to us he said wrestling is fake guys wrestling is fake look where
I’m at right now in the fucking wheelchair but wrestling is fake you
know what I told him I said Hall of Fame brother Hall of Fame brother that’s what
I told him and he gave me one of these how do you
think Brian knobs and Jerry sags of nasty boys feel when they seem that tag
team title match and they seem Vince McMahon completely destroyed
the tag team division Barry Seamus Azzaro and Barry every other tag team
that held those titles the Hart Foundation Legion of doo demolition the
nasty boys Christian and edge how do you think they felt when they saw this 10
year old child win the tag team titles get a bigger pop than Roman reigns
Nicholas is fuckin more over than Roman reigns Nicholas got a bigger popped in
Daniel Bryan’s now I will give WW credit for being very creative and doing
something different you know but come on guys come on is nicholas and braun
strowman gonna defend the wrong tag team titles no no they’re probably gonna drop
the titles on Monday Night Raw tomorrow so why even do that spot at WrestleMania
maybe Rey Mysterio was supposed to show up and didn’t show up maybe Batista was
supposed to show up and didn’t show up I don’t know what the case may be maybe
they had to do an audible at the last moment and somebody said you just
fucking pick a kid from the crowd to fucking be your raw tag-team partner I
don’t know but that was very embarrassing so the Royal tag team
titles and everyone else who have been a tag team champion in the WWE god awful did the fans heat it up
yeah the fans ate it up at WrestleMania but when you really sit and back and
think about it that was fucked up to everyone and every wrestler put their
bodies on the line for those tag team titles
in the 80s in the 90s that’s fucked up Brian knobs getting wheeled to it
getting in a fucking wheelchair you know getting wheeled to his fucking plane
ride put his fucking body on the line for WWE held those titles many times
with the nasty boys and you gonna have a kid win it and get a WrestleMania moment
come on man come on wvv we can do better than that mr. Roman reigns Roman reigns
the fucking Roman Empire my god this was the worst most shoved down our throats
wrestlemania of all time of course when roman reigns music hits he got pulled
out the fucking building out the fucking dome okay during the match the crowd was
shitting all over the match shitting on it soon as soon as the bell rang shading
on it this is awful chance CM punk chance volleyball mania running wild
beach ball mania running wild I’m sorry there was beach balls popping up after
beach balls popping up after another beach ball popping up beach ball most
fucking made it to the ring at one point security guards hunting down beach balls
get these beach balls out of the fucking crowd because everyone’s playing beach
balls besides looking at the product that was going on the main event of
Wrestlemania the universal championship match nobody cared about this match
nobody it was fucking hilarious and I applaud
the New Orleans crowd I applaud them for speaking their fucking mind during this
match I applaud them great fucking job this is awful chance
you sold out chance to Brock lesner CM Punk
chance rusev day chance it was fucking hilarious fucking
hilarious WWE should be ashamed of itself that’s
how I’m gonna start the show let’s get into this fucking review guys shall we
let’s get into this fucking review the stage the WrestleMania looked god-awful
a lot of people liked the stage personally I didn’t like the stage at
fucking all I think it was one of the worst stages in WrestleMania history every time a wrestlers fucking music hit
the fucking glasses that the mask was wearing I felt like it was fucking Bret
the Hitman Hart glasses every time the glasses turned pink and black I was like
okay is Bret Hart gonna fucking show up at WrestleMania or what’s going on every
time the fucking glass has turned picked him black and they fucking turned pink
like many many many many many times I thought fucking Bret the Hitman Hart was
gonna come out of fucking retirement and fucking face Brock Lesnar for the
University no I I didn’t understand those fucking the stage that they had I
didn’t like it and I didn’t like the fucking shit over the ring neither got
awful set up the wait it was this year I think they could have done a lot better
the show starts off and they showed John Cena in the fucking crowd sitting with
the fans waiting for the Undertaker to arrive obviously that’s what they were
gonna do they start the first match for the show
demands on your giant battle royal basically everyone not on the fucking
main card because they got to get everyone on the show at WrestleMania
everyone’s gotta have a fucking moment but you got guys returning like our
truth wearing a fucking t-shirt what complain t-shirt then you got
fucking primo primo and my Canela so we haven’t seen all fucking year they’d
romanum fucking tightest catering battle royal that no one cared about that’s why
I was on a fucking pre-show okay these guys haven’t been seen on television all
year it came down the cane Matt Hardy Dolph Ziggler Baron Corbin and mojo
Riley the last fucking five competitors in the ring right came throughout
Ziggler who tried to zig zag Corbin and Mojo Riley came throughout Ziggler who
tried his zigzag Corbin throughout came Bray Wyatt
showed up out of nowhere Bray why the fucking music wind the music not the
music the fucking loud the lights went dark and there you see fuckin Bray Wyatt
standing there like fucking Texas Chainsaw Massacre with a fucking drape
around in full and blood and everyone’s like what the fuck is going on why is
Bray Wyatt in the middle of the fucking ring right Bray Wyatt shows up Hardy threw out mojo
Riley Corbin then hit white with its end of the days Hardy then through Corbin
out the ring to win the memorial battle royal after the match is over Bray Wyatt is
standing there with Matt Hardy and they embraced and now we’re gonna have Bray
Wyatt turned babyface and he’s gonna be brother brought
brother Wyatt or brother Bray or walking Wyatt so we’re probably gonna see these
two tag team on Monday and I run out and become a faction in a way so good I mean
it was a good scene to see Bray Wyatt back okay he definitely is a fucking
creative change okay they’re gonna make him a babyface we’ll see where it goes
but that was a good moment that it was surprised everyone in the battle royal
because if he didn’t fucking show up then the battle royal would have been
fucking god-awful and Matt Hardy wins and that would be the end of it but at
least we had some type of you know surprise in the battle royal I honestly
thought we were gonna see Goldberg show up and win the whole fucking thing since
he’s already there and he’s in the Hall of Fame
I thought he was gonna have one last hurrah his music hits he gets another
last WrestleMania moment he fucking Spears everyone out that fucking ring
and wins the memorial battle royal or I thought the big show was gonna show up
and the big show was gonna run Aurora but no they go with fucking Matt Hardy
Bray Wyatt gets a fucking moment at WrestleMania and there you have it
battle royal men’s battle royal moving on Cedric Alexander versus Mustafa Ali
he for the cruiserweight title one of the best matches on the show guys this
was a phenomenal match cruiserweights are back and these two guys put on a
fucking show Cedric Alexander mr. Cedric Alexander he was the star of
the cruiserweight division when it was the cruiserweight classic going on okay
he flourished in 205 live and then Vince McMahon got his grips on 205 life and
made Enzo amore the goddamn cruiserweight champion mr. enzyme
worried I can’t arrest for a fucking a drop of a dime Vince McMahon gets his
fucking corrupted fuckin hands on the division and fucking destroys the
division by making Enzo amore the cruiserweight champion okay then after
Vince McMahon sees this fucking failure that he’s created okay he says fuck it I
don’t want to a fight like no more it ain’t working with me I’m gonna go do my
XFL shit or go focus more on my XFL gig and I’m gonna hand the Kings to the
kingdom to Triple H Triple H fucking puts up a 16-man tournament for the
cruiserweight title after and the more I got fired for raping a little girl or
whatever the fuck he did stupid moron that he is they do this fucking division
tournament Cedric Alexander phenomenal match phenomenal match phenomenal match
phenomenal match in the tournament every fucking match has phenom goes on to face
Mustafa Ali at WrestleMania for the vacated cruiserweight title it was a
fucking great match I loved Mustafa Ali’s entrance look like
the fucking sub-zero when he came I had this fucking lighting up mask kind of
like Chris Jericho’s vest how it lights up lights up with this fucking mask
Tina has this fucking thing in his hand I don’t know what the fuck it was it was
a circle but it was like blowing smoke like like like sub-zero trying to freeze
you in Mortal Kombat it’s fucking phenomenal it’s fucking entrance I loved
it loved it loved it loved but these guys put on a fucking clinic in the
fucking ring they really really did mustafa Ali hit the 0-5
for but Alexander got on his feet foot on the ropes got his foot on the ropes
after his move Ali tried it again and missed Alexander came up came back up
and hit three stunning back elbows and then the lumberjack to beat Ali and
become the new cruiserweight champion now what I didn’t like about this is
that as soon as fucking Cedric Alexander won the fucking title they went to a
fucking commercial break or they went to another segment there was no coronation
in the fucking ring with Cedric Alexander and Plus this match was on the
fucking pre-show this man should have been on the fucking main card okay this
man should have been on the main card and fucking nyeh Jax and the fucking
Alexa bliss should have been on the pre-show because this was one of the
best matches of the whole fucking show one of the few best matches of the show
and it was on the fucking pre-show then when the poor man wins the fucking title
finally Cedric Alexander wins the title they cut so commercial break call the
fucking Ephraim we put into this fucking division and this tournament to rebuild
it we finally get a coronation and Wrestlemania and we cut to the fuck
commercial I did not understand that logic I did not understand that logic
but said you can assign a beat some stuff Ali he is your new cruiserweight
champion moving on the women’s battle royal the women’s battle royal many many
call-ups from NXT this battle royal was obviously based on Sasha banks and
Bayley which should have been the match for the raw tag team I’m full of raw
Women’s Championship match it should have been Bayley versus Sasha banks for
the raw title but no they put these two in the fucking Royal a battle royal
right everyone gets eliminated then it’s just Bayley and Sasha banks in the ring
guess what the crowd went crazy yes yes yes yes yes chants more than proving
that this should have been the match with royal texting titles Baili throw Sasha banks over the ropes
she thinks she wins the fucking Battle Royale she was the only woman in the
ring but no Naomi pulls a fucking Jerry Lawler sleeping outside of the fucking
ring comes into the ring eliminates Bailey Bailey loses naomi shockingly
wins the woman’s battle royal match shockingly shockingly who were ever
fucking called that I don’t know but that was the pre-show for Wrestlemania then the show starts the first match
phenomenal match Toni we had couple phenomenal matches in the in the at
WrestleMania we have the Miz versus Steph Rollins and Finn Balor and the
mist comes out looking sharpest shit he does the right thing and he tails to mr.
Raj listen guys I got this hit the fucking bricks I want to do this on my own
good job Miz he did the right thing he finally told your fucking little mr. Raj
get the fuck out of here I want to do it have a clean win I don’t need your help
good job by the Miss that’s what an intercontinental champions supposed to
do Finn Balor comes out dressed in how should I say this gay community colors
Finn Balor comes in supporting the gay community in his colors his trunks his
boots had all the fucking colors on them now I don’t have anything against the
gay community I’m gonna make that very clearly okay I have nothing against gay
community I have fucking gay friends I’ve had gay friends I’ve worked with
gay people I have nothing against gay people the problem I have is why not
bring Finn Balor out as the demon king at WrestleMania for his first
WrestleMania ever demon king is Finn Balor’s best character why not bring out
the best of the best at WrestleMania I don’t know why they
didn’t do that I didn’t understand that at all
New Orleans is supposed to be one of the most haunted haunted cities in the
fucking world you would think they’d want to use the demon king in New
Orleans but no we didn’t go down well we didn’t go that route right off the bat
mistake number one for Wrestlemania now bringing out the demon king great fucking phenomenal match
great fucking phenomenal match the Miz Stef Rollins and Finn Balor Finn Balor
took over on the Miz with a sling with a swing blade then hit him with whoo
dropkick Rollins didn’t broke it up with the curve stop on Balor and then hit a
curb stop on the Miz to pin the Miz and win the Intercontinental Championship
now I honestly thought Finn Balor was gonna win this match because I kind of
felt that Finn Balor is a better fit for the icy title and I thought Stef Rollins
gonna move over to w/e Smackdown alive now I know why they gave Stef Rollins
that icy title to give him a moment of the great fucking job he’s done this
year he’s Monday night Rollins he’s he’s in a
he’s has a big big momentum going right now plus they gave him his moment at
WrestleMania to be a Grand Slam champion he’s won every title in the fucking
company besides the universal title but besides
the universitat he’s won everything he’s been a world champion he’s been a US
Champion he’s been a tag team champion and now he becomes a Intercontinental
Champion the only title that he has not held to be a Grand Slam champion
phenomenal that was phenomenal but I just didn’t I didn’t agree with the
demon king thing I wish Finn Balor woulda came out with the demon king and
that would have got a bigger pop and it would have made it a better match
actually but this was one of the best matches on the show one of them Steph
Rollins is she new Intercontinental Champion moving on and this is when I
started getting very very very disgusted Charlotte Flair versus Oscar for the
women’s title phenomenal match this was the best match of the night this one in
Ronda Rousey were the best matches of the night by far Charlotte Flair shocked
the world she shocked the world and beats Oscar not only does she beat Oscar
but she made Oscar tap out now a lot of people are saying well if Gasca doesn’t
lose her streak it’s gonna get boring it’s gonna get boring her streak
she keeps beating everyone and everyone and it’s gonna make it obvious every
match that she’s in that she’s always gonna win because she’s undefeated well
that’s what the fucking WWE creative team is there for to make it interesting it’s like you’re watching a soap opera
and married with children or the Simpsons have been around for fucking
years right you are guys all know who fucking Bart Simpson is you all guys
know who the fuck Marge Simpson is you guys know who fucking Homer Simpson is
right you’ve seen him every fucking week but guess what it’s a different story
every fucking episode it gets creative same fucking logic if the WW creative
team cannot make this fucking work and keep this woman undefeated into a
Wrestlemania of next year so she can face Ronda Rousey then they shouldn’t be
employed with the WWE I understand Charlotte Flair is Charlotte Flair
she’s the queen but she’s already established okay she’s a multiple time
Women’s Champion on Raw and SmackDown she’s already established Oscar is not
established the only thing Oscar had for her was this streak and now it’s done
now oscar has nothing oscar has absolutely nothing now ask is
gonna be a fucking Dana Brooks she’s gonna be a Bailey she’s gonna be a
fucking Becky Lynch everyone’s gonna look at Oscar like hmm she has nothing
now it’s like Superman he takes Superman’s cape off what is he he’s a
fucking human he’s Clark Kent Batman he take his Batmobile away and you take his
fucking belt away of all his fucking gadgets and he’s no one asked us no one
now the only thing that Aska had going for her Triple H has worked so hard to
bring this woman up from the ranks in NXT given her district and the moment
Vince McMahon gives his fucking corrupted fucking eighties bubble on her
she gets buried at WrestleMania in front of 80s fucking thousand people then
after the man she has to go out there and congratulation and say Charlotte is
ready for Oscar buried put the fucking final nail in the coffin
whoo-oop Oscar’s done Oscars mystique is done Undertaker streak ended at New Orleans
Oscar streak ends in New Orleans Charlotte Flair wins by a figure eight
and then Oscar taps out was it a great match it was a phenomenal match probably
the best women’s wrestling match of all time in my eyes one of the best by far
and probably the best match of the show but WWE killed Oscar and buried her only
thing this woman had going for was the streak and it was cut right off her
fucking head they cut her fucking head off Charlotte wins still the raw Women’s
Champion Smackdown Women’s Champion I’m sorry
then Ryan Charles comes running out of the fucking back goes to John Cena goes
to John Cena and says hey John it says something about the Undertaker probably
Undertaker has arrived John Cena looks surprised and John Cena gets up from his
ring up from his arm his chair and runs right up the fucking ramp right past
Charlotte Charlotte looks at John Cena like this motherfucker just stole my
moment once again John Cena has to be in the middle of fucking everything and
still the fucking someone’s Thunder you know Charlotte just beat Oscar ended the
fucking streak and at the same time John Cena has to run right past her and
everyone’s focusing on John Cena running up the fucking ramp instead of focusing
on Charlotte Flair just beat Oscar I made her tap out at WrestleMania killed
her fucking Thunder killed her fucking Thunder unbelievable I did not like that
at all they couldn’t they couldn’t not waited until Charlotte’s segment is over
and she’s in the back already damn dick her fucking bring the referee out until
John Cena and then John Cena can run to the fucking back no they had to do it
right smack in the middle with Charlotte Flair beat Oscar
John Cena steals Charlotte first under at WrestleMania go figure moving on and this is when I fucking
this is when I went to get a doggy bag and throw up in my seat when I’ve seen
this next match oh my god this is when I threw up in my in my in my mouth the
disgusting disgusting US title match the human nyquil bottle Randy Orton versus
the failure ginger mehar versus the fucking glorious mr. nice guy Bobby
Roode versus the most over WWE Superstar the number one selling t-shirt on WWE
shop calm his name was being chanted before the fucking event even started
his name was chanted during the fucking main event of Wrestlemania rusev rusev couple of weeks prior to Wrestlemania it
was reported that rusev acts for his release from the WWE because he’s seen
all the effort that he’s putting into his character and how over he is with
the fans and he is the number one selling t-shirt on W eShop gog.com he’s
seen this and he said you know what I’m out of this fucking place because I’m
not getting any respect from Vince McMahon
I’m just getting getting continued being buried continue being buried and
continuing buried every fucking week I’m gonna go walking take fucking Cody roses
footsteps and Kenny Omegas footsteps and Drew McIntyre stood seven I’m gonna go
hit the indie scene and I’m gonna make a name for myself so yaks free release WV
did not give his release and they gave him a rule or two token a reward and
sold him will stay stay please because it
to put him in the bath Morial battle royale WrestleMania that’s what they
were gonna do with him so they put him in the US title match they say no don’t
leave we’re gonna put you in the u.s. title match for what what soon as a
non-english comes out rusev gets one of the biggest pops of the night and what
his music hits for what this is a disgrace this man should have won the US
title not only does it get put in the match to get buried but he was put in
the match to take the pin from ginger Mahal Jinder Mahal hits him with a
colossus the match is over ginger mahal wins the US title if I was
rusev I would have walked out the company right after that match and I
hope he does I hope he grows some balls and just leaves the WWE like Neville did
cuz Neville he was the best cruiserweight he was the
best cruiserweight and they had Enzo amore go over him not once not twice but
three times burying Enzo amore that’s why I’m sure
Mori got up put his fucking dick between his legs and fucking left the company same thing that CM Punk did left the
company because of this same bullshit and if w/e doesn’t change their ways
there’s gonna be a lot of wrestlers leaving WWE a lots of them and they’re
gonna go to New Japan Pro Wrestling and they’re gonna go to Ring of Honor and
they’re gonna make a name for themselves like Cody Rhodes is doing right now like
Drew McIntyre did then wo he’s gonna be crying back come back to WT come back to
the video house who said I wouldn’t come back to WWE and let some guaranteed a
contract with a spot in the WWE gingiva hall wins hits the class on rusev and
pins the most over wrestler in the company today poor rusev can’t fucking
buy a break can’t fucking buy a brick moving on Kurt
Angle Ronda Rousey Triple H and Stephanie McMahon great fucking match
phenomenal phenomenal phenomenal match I have shitted I’m Ronda Rousey for the
last month about her facial expressions about her smiling all the time which she
still was smiling at WrestleMania but whatever about the way she presented
herself I said this woman’s gonna be a fucking complete failure I said she’s
gonna be a complete failure failure I thought god I told my friend sitting
with me understands I said this is gonna be the sloppiest match in WrestleMania
history I honestly thought this was gonna be the sloppiest match of all time
but you know what it was one of the best matches it was quite possibly the best
mixed tag team match of all time Ronda Rousey impressed the shit out of me she
proved wrong all the doubters she looked fantastic in the ring fantastic in the
ring I honestly didn’t like the outcome of the match I kind of wish she would
attempt our Triple H instead of Stephanie McMahon but she’s tapped out
Stephanie McMahon but Ronda Rousey definitely earned every fucking penny of
her contract with WWE she looked fucking great worth every
goddamn dime Ronda Rousey was the MVP of Wrestlemania
she was the MVP of Wrestlemania there was a moment when it was just Ronda
Rousey and Triple H in the ring the crowd went crazy they wanted to see
those two lock horns and they did it was a fucking phenomenal match Ronda Rousey
Kurt Angle wind Kurt Angle didn’t do anything for me her angle definitely
showed his age in the ring they had a little a little segment there with
Triple H and Kurt Angle going at it you know with the pedigrees and Olympic
Slams and ankle lock but triple aces in Triple H and and and Kurt Angle didn’t
do anything for this match Ronda Rousey made the fucking match obviously but she
did her thing and I commend her good job Ronda he probes all the doubters wrong I
bashed you and I take it all back you did your thing at WrestleMania great
fucking match keep up the good work she definitely earned her fucking money with
WWE moving on smack now live tag team champions championship this was
basically a filler match a comedown match this is when this is when the show
and the plane went crashing down like I said this is when nine o’clock struck
and it was like a Marty and fucking Doc and back to the future when fucking
lightning strikes at 12 at 12 o’clock that’s what how fuckin WrestleMania was
plane is which crashed to the floor the new day – new days entrance to name
the new days entrance is exactly what gets a WWE fan embarrassed when they’re
sitting at home watching this garbage on television and you have a body that’s
sitting next to you and doesn’t have any knowledge about WWE or knows anything
about WWE and he’s sitting there watching this Shin he’s like what the
fuck is this shit this is what you watch pancakes fucking midgets and pancakes
this is so stupid this is the type of match in the type of shit that that
really pulls sometimes it gets you embarrassed because new days entrance
was fucking god-awful with these little fucking midgets dressed in pancakes
running around the ring doing fucking Scotty two hotties worm this is the type
of stuff that gets you embarrassed I think the new day’s entrance is more
longer than the fucking match and that is a damn shame because the Usos have
worked so fucking hard all year long been by far the best tag team in the
fucking world on the mic and in the ring and this is the shit that the new day
kids basically enough factor in the match you didn’t see the Usos do their
thing at all at WrestleMania bludgeon brothers dominated the whole fucking
match it was about a five minute match vulajin brothers win Smackdown live tag
team champions god-awful match this is when the plane
went boom and blew up right in the middle of the fucking Superdome in
WrestleMania moving on it gets better oh it gets better oh my lord my lord let
me go through my notes they got a lot of them I got a lot of them Oh John Cena’s music hits
John Cena comes down to the crowd then you hear a lie is his tone for his
guitar children hit right elias comes down to the ring basically tells John
Cena get the fuck out the ring this is probably not the man you expected but I
have more charisma than the Undertaker I’m a better wrestler than the
Undertaker and I’m gonna face you at WrestleMania right now I’m sitting like
wow John Cena Elias is gonna get a big WrestleMania moment here with John Cena
I’m saying to myself they’re gonna put allies over right now against John Cena
no no John Cena hits the five fucking moves of Doom five moves of doom which
is the fucking a a and the Five Knuckle shuffle and they can’t see me bullshit
you know the five the five moves of doom that he fucking buries every fucking WW
Superstar right throws Alliance out the ring
there goes Elias buried on WrestleMania in front of fucking 79 thousand people
all right what the fuck would that was a waste of time
just John Cena’s burying another fucking superstar talent coming up in the ranks
on the grandest stage of them all then John Cena walking up the ramp the lights
go off the lights go off then all of a sudden
strike of lightning enters the ring I’m sorry no the lights come on and there’s
light shining in the middle of the ring and it’s Undertaker’s hat his gloves and
his try sitting in the middle of the room then
the Lightning comes bolt comes Joe hits the fucking hat gloves trench coat
disappears Undertaker’s music hits John Cena
standing in the middle of the stage shock like a motherfucker like everyone
else was in the fucker you know it was a great fucking moment don’t get me wrong
it was a WrestleMania moment Undertaker comes out appears John Cena
is walking backwards in fuckin death like he’s seen a ghost
shocked like he’s seen a ghost goes in the ring Undertaker goes in the ring
does his whole shit scared walk slowly goes like this turns the fucking lights
on in the arena comes in the ring takes his hat off we have an L prompt match at
WrestleMania John Cena versus the Undertaker for what it lasted not even
more than five minutes four months we have been hyping this match promo after
promo after promo after prom with the promo icon vs. icon right dream match
WrestleMania 34 for five minutes for five minutes I don’t think John Cena
threw a punch in this match Undertaker did his so scared to fucking walk on the
rope you know old school move chokeslam Irish whip with the boot you know
hitting with the tombstone match was over five minute match after all this
fucking time we have been hyping this match icon vs. icon
we couldn’t get a fucking 20 minute classic match against John Cena and The
Undertaker as soon as as soon as the Undertaker hit the tombstone pinned him
John Cena crawl out the ring quickly and disappeared just fuckin left they didn’t
acknowledge the Undertaker like I’m sorry shaked hands hug nothing hits
tombstone 1 2 3 Johnson quickly rolled out of the ring
and just ran out of the fucking arena we’ve waited all these years to see this
mansion we got a five minute match like I said this is when the plane went Shh
and crashed to the floor Undertaker beat John Cena in fucking two minutes two
minutes the only thing good part about this was that we saw the Undertaker the
entrance and W is set that up right but the actual match was god-awful like most
of these matches were moving on Daniel Bryan versus Shane McMahon I’m
sorry Daniel Bryan and shane mcmahon vs kevin owens vs. sami zayn Daniel Bryan’s
is great in ring returned to WWE after three years to three years this man
hasn’t been in the ring now Daniel Bryan’s entrance was phenomenal it was
phenomenal don’t get me wrong I loved his entrance
a lot they did the whole the whole what do you call it metal gear type of
entrance where they’re scanning Daniel Bryan’s yes movement you know and
they’re showing where it first started and me Daniel Bryan’s interest was great
when he came in the ring he got the biggest pop of the night okay everybody
doing the yes chants throughout the fucking Oh fucking arena 80,000 strong
it’s fucking beautiful site beautiful fucking site but the match starts Daniel
Bryan gets attacked by Kevin Owens the Sami Zayn out of nowhere
Kevin was amusing didn’t have a fucking entrance they just their music hit and
they got attacked from the back they come in they attack Daniel Bryan Shane
McMahon Daniel Bryan gets powerbombed once again on the apron he’s
out on a match for 12 minutes then Shane McMahon and his there reticulatus and
it’s fucking hernia versus Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens
because Shane McDaniel Brian’s on the fucking outside for 12 minutes out of
the fucking match right shame and man takes a fucking beating finally Daniel
Bryan comes out from the fucking dead gets in the ring does his fucking yes
kicks does all his fucking skid you know does his his fucking kicks and all this
shit Daniel Bryan’s kid finally they win the match Daniel Bryan’s chair my beats
can Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens I really wanted to see Daniel Bryan more in this
match he was he got a couple of moves off and that was it you know this was
the shaming man did most of the match and it was very disappointing match okay
did the crowd pop did the crowd start start eating everything up yes the crowd
did pop and they eat ate everything up when the yes Kicks came and stuff like
that but Daniel Bryan should be more involved in the match than sitting
outside of the fucking ring for 12 minutes injured and outside of the
fucking match that I did not like and agree with Daniel Bryan Shane Mack wins
they be Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn very under one we match once again this is
when the plane is going oh and blowing up in front everybody moving on we have
a match that should have been on the pre-show nyah Jax versus Alexa bliss for
the raw women’s title do I have to go over this match you got an ID Jax
looking like fucking King Kong coming out with her fucking attire I did not
fucking understand her fucking attire it looked like fucking man tar or whatever
the fuck her damn a tire was she hits a fucking Samoan job off the top rope pins
Alexa bliss new raw Women’s Champion who cares who
cares this match to the ban on the fucking
pre-show and not before the fucking w/e title
with AJ and Shinsegae Nakamura which I’m gonna get to next and we’ll go straight
to into it AJ and shit’s gay Nakamura my god was I disappointed in this fucking
match I was sitting in the edge of my seats waiting to see this match all
night long Nakamura entrance was fucking phenomenal
I loved his entrance they didn’t use the violin this time this time they used a
fucking guitar and they were playing his music to a guitar
it was fucking phenomenal loved his fucking entrance everyone singing along
to his crowd eighty thousand strong it sounded great but the match did not live
up to the hype and like I said before this was when Vince McMahon sabotaged
this main event he told these guys don’t go to first
fifth gear stay on first gear and just have a
boring match because the next match coming up is Roman reigns in brockless
and we don’t want you to have a better match than those two guys so stay on
first gear and don’t go all out and don’t take the roof off the Superdome
please so that’s what schinsky Nakamura and AJ Styles did I honestly thought
schinsky Nakamura was gonna get crowned the WWE Champion he won the Royal Rumble
and more than likely whoever wins the Royal Rumble goes on the WrestleMania
wins the WAV title but no this wasn’t the case with this time AJ Styles wins retains the WWE Nakamura goes salute AJ
Styles gets in his knees gives AJ Styles the title and then he hits with a low
blow and turns heel why this Shinsegae Nakamura turn you know I don’t know I
really don’t cuz since K Nakamura is beloved beloved his entrance is
phenomenal and the fans sing along to his entrance now guess what no one I
ain’t gonna sing along to shit okay no one’s gonna sing along to shit and I’ll
be shocked at the fans still sing along to his song
schinsky Nakamura’s mystique is over okay he’s gonna turn heel and I don’t
know how he’s gonna do it good as a heel I think it gonna be god-awful as a heel
she’s skating Anka more hits him with a low blow kicks them outside the ring
kicks him in his head in his face multiple times very nasty kicks since K
was doing to AJ Styles kicks them outside the ring AJ Styles tries to get
up and Shinsegae Nakamura hits him with a king shot saw and he walks up the ramp
in boos moving on this is when I wanted to jump out of the stands from the
fucking first deck the next match this is when I wanted to
plunge choo and just jump in the fucking middle of the Ring from where I was
sitting and get on the fucking microphone and this and just say this is
the shit that you’re giving us at WrestleMania I paid three hundred fifty
fucking dollars for my ticket and this is the fucking Royal tag-team match that
I’m fucking getting that’s what I wanted to do I wanted to go through security go
in a fucking ring grab the fucking mic and drop a pipe bomb in front of fucking
75,000 people that’s what I wanted to do I really wanted to do that the bar
Sheamus and Cesaro have carried the raw tag team division carry it all year versus braun strowman and a mystery
partner like i said in the opening this was a disgrace to everyone that has won
the raw tag team titles a disgrace braun strowman goes in the crowd walks right
by no way Jose there’s NXT talents sitting in the fucking stands okay and
brunch drummer walks right by no way Jose and the NXT talent that’s sitting
ringside how I knew is no hey Jose cuz I could tell by his afro and that was
definitely no way Jose and they caught that on camera which was really bad
about a cameraman I heard she he I’m sure he got an earful from that
from showing no whales a during this segment braun strowman walks in the
crown and grabs nicholas Nicholas a ten year old boy to be his tag team partner
the crowd went crazy of course because there was a lot of smart marks in the
crowd the crowd goes crazy I applaud WWE’s creative here is
something different but in reality these guys are not going to defend the tag
team titles they’re not gonna defend it abroad tactic titles it’s a fucking joke
to everyone before who has held these tag team titles like I said the nasty
boys Legion of Doom to demolition the Hart Foundation the Steiner Brothers
Harlem Heat who else all these tag teams have held these
titles they seen this shit and they should have been disgusted like I was
disgusting nicholas and braun strowman win the raw tag team titles at
wrestlemania my god how low can you go how low can you go nothing else i need
to say about that nothing else moving on to the main event of the evening the most hype match of all time in
WrestleMania the most predictable match in WrestleMania history or should have been the most predictable
match in WrestleMania history the Beast the Conqueror the reigning defending
Universal champion Brock Lesnar versus the big dog
Roman reigns honestly I thought Roman reigns gonna win this match with all the
hype and shit that they did this man coming up to this point okay
when braun strowman basically fucking eliminates the whole goddamn roster at
Elimination Chamber and then he’s standing there one-on-one
with the big dog and Roman reigns goes over on Braun braun strowman at the
Elimination Chamber to go on the WrestleMania face Brock Lester when I
saw the way they were pushing Roman reigns ignition if week in and week out
on Monday Night Raw with him being handcuffed and him beating up the
fucking marshals then him fighting with Vince McMahon in the back about being
disrespected in blah-blah-blah-blah-blah after him calling brockless aph to make
him look good after Roman reigns said on the mic in a promo with Kurt Angle
saying that what is Brock Vince McMahon’s boy and then korangal puts his
microphone down like oh you’re not supposed to say that Rome like he’s
going off the script with his lines mr. Samoan back that’s right how W he wanted
to paint him for all these weeks then they paid him to be all mr. Superman
mr. Superman cares about the boys in the back and now he cares about the fans
just to try to get him a cheer or two didn’t fucking work WWE didn’t fucking
work didn’t work because the moment that man’s music hit he got booed out of
fuckin New Orleans like I said he was he got booed out of New Orleans they wanted
a crucifixion they wanted to crucify him at WrestleMania if he would have won
this match WWE did the right thing and the right man won because they had been
inaudible like when the quarterback he’s gonna call a play and he calls shotgun
but then he sees fucking three linemen setting up for fucking blitz
that’s what WrestleMania was gonna be Roman reigns won the fucking universal
championship that night everyone would have fucking blitzed into the fucking
ring and destroyed Roman reigns that’s what happened so visiting man heard the
fucking boos heard the fucking chants from the crowd seen the volleyballs
going wild beach balls I should say going wild all
out the fucking arena they was fucking beach balls just popping up from the
fucking third deck and then there was another body uh beach ball popping up in
the second deck then there’s another peach ball popping out on the bottom
deck and I’m like holy shit no one is paying attention to this fucking match
oh I wonder why CM Punk chance CM punk chance this is awful chance you sold our
chance boring boring chance then I’m sitting
there and I see brockless to hit in there five roman reigns kicks out
then another f5 Roman reigns kicks out then another f5 Roman reigns kicks out
then another f5 Roman reigns kicks out then another f5 Roman reigns kicks out
then another f5 Roman reigns guys now took six f5 to put down Roman reigns six
with sharp elbows to his face boss them open six of them it took one to take
down braun strowman and it took one to take down some mojo but the mighty Roman
reigns has to take six f5 s at WrestleMania when he took one f5 at
SummerSlam that put him down so what was the difference of summer slams one f5 to
beat Roman reigns then the fucking six f5 that it took to beat Roman reigns at
WrestleMania it was suplex after suplex f5 after f5
got suplex to a fucking table I mean he shouldn’t fucking just took a gun and
just shot him in the fucking head and pinned him that’s why they made it seem
like take a fucking gun just shoot a boom pin him want to drink that’s what
you should’ve done that’s what it seemed like
six F fives busted head to beat him my god
was that a shoved down our throats main events but WWE did the right thing they
called an audible because they’d seen the Blitz coming boy and Brock lesner
won everyone was shocked in the arena because everybody spected the big dog to
win and I did too I was fucking absolutely motherfucking shocked when
Brock lesner won but I was happy as shit that WWE did the right thing was this a
good match god no it wasn’t a good match it was obvious it was obvious the
outcome Roman reigns takes six F fives gets busted open gets beaten gets
victimized gets conquered by the beast in
Arnon Brock lesner on a scale of one to ten WrestleMania
dirty flour was a probably a six it was a six it could have been a ten if they
would have made it and plated right the card the match card looked like a ten
but it was very underwhelming he did not live up to hype I was very disappointed
I paid three hundred and fifty dollars plus a plane ticket plus the fucking
hotel room to go in the Worland to see this god-awful garbage I don’t know if
I’ll ever go to Wrestlemania again I’ve been to four of them and I don’t think
I’ll ever go to Wrestlemania again because all it is is hype and that’s
what this WrestleMania was it was all hype
besides the Ronda Rousey Charlotte and Intercontinental title match everything
else was god-awful but the night before NXT takeover blew WrestleMania out of
the water and I don’t care what anybody says I don’t care if I get back lashed
on this review and people are gonna call me crazy and call me say oh you don’t
know anything that you’re talking about and I don’t know shit about wrestling
yes I do motherfuckers okay if you didn’t see NXT takeover then go back and
watch it and compare the two events and tell me which one was better
that fucking six-man ladder match to annex D pulled was by far the best match
of the weekend by far not even fucking close Alistair black was adronis Ian Thomas
was a fucking classic it was a hundred times better than Nakamura and AJ Styles
and you can’t sit there and tell me that it wasn’t Johnny Gargano
and Tommaso champa was a better match than the Undertaker versus John Cena I
don’t care what anyone says but it’s God and truth it is the goddamn truth n XD teh NXT should be the bar set what
a WWE pay-per-view should be and look like they put up a better show in three
hours than WrestleMania in seven hours and that is the god-honest truth that’s
how we do it here I’m squaring the circle we’re gonna give you the truth
we’re gonna give you the god honest truth about the product if you don’t
like it then you can go somewhere else and watch someone else and they’re gonna
sugarcoat everything for you and show you rainbows and stars and say every
match was great on WrestleMania not here you’re gonna get straight to your face
facts about the product squaring the circle I’m AC from New York this has
been your WrestleMania review for Wrestlemania 34 for the god-awful
underwhelming disappointing disrespectful WrestleMania event last
Sunday night I’m AC from New York follow me on Twitter AC from New York following
me on Instagram AC from New York follow me on Google+ AC from New York follow me
on Facebook AC from New York if you guys liked the video please hit that like
button subscribe to the channel and I’m sorry guys but WrestleMania was a
disappointment I’m AC from New York thank you for the love support subscribe
to the channel hit that like button I will see you guys next time this is
squaring the circle episode number 43

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2 Comments

  • Reply Rec April 10, 2018 at 11:12 pm

    Nxt Takeover was and will be better than Wrestlemania

  • Reply sleeping_angels May 13, 2018 at 9:55 am

    I’m sorry but Sasha banks is better than Charlotte Charlotte is overrated fuck her

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