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The Champions Extra: Jose Mourinho’s Best Moments

January 27, 2020


– Man U. More like Man Me. – Hi Jose, that’s quite an outfit. It’s very decorative. – It is the most decorative. I am the most decorated manager. Seriously, they think this garden gnome of a manager is better than me? – Bump. – Ah, you got me. – Ah, this is fun isn’t it? *Laughter* – How are you? – Terrible, I could use a massage my centre-back is killing me. So, the object of this game is you try to score once and then after that you sit back and wait for time to run out. It’s the best way to waste 90 minutes. What are they doing? – They seem to be playing a game, but they have these upside-down frowns and they are making sounds like “ha, ha, ha.” – It’s called smiling and having fun. It’s overrated, don’t get any ideas. Woo, special one! That means I get to throw a player under the bus. Hmm, let’s see. Ooh, so many choices. How about… – I don’t want to play this anymore. – Well, you will play where I say you play! Paul, Paul…I’m kidding. I only say this because you are my favourite. Right now, this show is good, people are happy. But wait until Season 3 things can go very bad. – You truly are my greatest rival. You clever Kloppo. – And you are mine; you brilliant, bald, Barcelonian. – Oh my god! Get a room you two! You are not rivals! I am your rival! I am everyone’s rival! I am the most decorated! – I’ll be your rival, Jose. – Urgh, not you. I’ve gathered you all here to remind you that just because you are not good, doesn’t mean you can’t have a good time. Now, enjoy your mandatory meal. – Mmm, these all appear to be top, top quality. – Voyeur. I won’t taste them because I know they are not as good as the Chelsea buns I made; three times! In fourth and last place… You! You! You! And especially you, Paul. You should all be disappointed. – Can we go coach? – Yeah no problem, you’re on loan to Millwall. Hey, what are you doing here? – Someone told me this party needed new energy. – You are not invited! Go away! What’s the matter, Luke? Not enough cholesterol in this for you? – Can I have a bigger roll? – I don’t get Harry Maguire, you don’t get more food! The Special One is back. Hope the Premier League is ready for more-inho. Harry, it’s ok. I am here now. And remember it could always be worse… *Laughter* We have three whole years before that happens. And by then you’ll be long gone. – I might be just one man. But together we’re one Man United. United, now that Jose’s gone.

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2 Comments

  • Reply Mauricio Catach January 25, 2020 at 6:31 pm

    "Can I have a bigger roll?" "Bun intended" 😂

  • Reply Anthony kordula January 27, 2020 at 1:34 am

    The most decorative episode

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