BARCA 6-1 PSG! THE BEST COMEBACK EVER! Barcelona complete the best comeback in the Champions League!November 15, 2019
Good Evening, Barcelona! It’s everybody’s DREAM boy Threesome! That sounds SO wrong…. IT’S 6-1 DIRECTION! On Our COMEBACK TOUR!!! 6-1! WHAT A NIGHT! It was The BEST game EVER! 6-1! Injury TIME… THE BIGGEST COMEBACK EVER!!! We were 4-0 DOWN! But did we give up…NEVER! WHAT A NIGHT! IT was The BEST Game, EVER! Maybe It’s the Way I WALKED…. OW! Straight INTO the BOX to HEAD IT! YESSS!!! KURSEDAWA, O.G – WHAT A RETARD! NEYMAR Had his SHIN BONE HEADED! WE SAID : “Can YOU Give the ball to ME?” HE SAID: “Never in Your WILDEST DREAMS.” 6-1! WHAT A NIGHT IT WAS THE BEST GAME EVER! Injury Time the BIGGEST COMEBACK EVER! WE Were 4-0 DOWN! But Did we give up….. NEVER! WHAT A NIGHT! IT Was The BEST Game, EVER! Edi Scored… We need 3 more GOALS! We’re Screwed… Who’s Your Daddy?! Thank GOD he MISSED…. HIM TOO! lol! Everybody Dropped Their MOUTHS… Ref! He Hit ME! I’M A GENIUS! WE SAID : “Can YOU Give the ball to ME?” HE SAID: “Never in Your WILDEST DREAMS.” Okay Then I’ll be back in 3 Hours when You’ve Finished YOUR RUN-UP! Hurry Up! WE NEED TO SCORE TWO GOALS IN 6 MINUTES! And we’ve got the bit-late chorus… ….and outro to perform yet! 6-1! WHAT A NIGHT! IT Was The BEST Game, EVER! Injury Time the BIGGEST COMEBACK EVER! WE Were 4-0 DOWN! But Did we give up….. NEVER! WHAT A NIGHT! IT Was The BEST Game, EVER! We don’t Know… Don’t know…. Don’t Know Why we WERE so POO? I know You know, Everyone Knows… You Didn’t Have A Clue…. We don’t Know… Don’t know…. Don’t Know Why we WERE so POO? I know You know, Everyone Knows… You Didn’t Have A Clue…. Here’s Our Chance…… What A Chance! 6-1! IT WAS THE SPAWNIEST GAME EVER! WHAT A NIGHT! It was THE BEST game Ever! Injury Time, The Biggest COMEBACK EVER! WE WERE 4-0 DOWN BUT DID WE GIVE UP NEVER! What A Night! It Was THE BEST Game Ever! Best game ever… It was the Best Comeback Ever….. Subtitles by the Amara.org community
What happens when 800 of the world’s most elite footballers… and their managers live together under one roof? Players stop being polite… and start getting Re-al. This is… The Champions. And for my next trick, I will make myself reappear as a relevant player! Now that the transfer window is over, I could spend more time pursuing my hobbies. Ya know, like playing football! Hi, this is me, Christian Eriksen! I love to play football for Tottenham Hotspur, I’m so happy! Ah, no. Hello. Watch out Champions League, it’s time for Atlanta to rock your world. Uh, it’s Atalanta. Ah, s–t. So, today is arrival day, and I’m really excited to be in the Champions League mansion with a club that actually has a chance to make it out of the group stage. Jow! Oh, sorry, I didn’t see you… you must have been in my shadow. Uh…what are you talking about? Joao, listen, I know that you feel a lot of pressure; because to be compared to me, this must be very hard. I don’t…I really haven’t thought about it. Shhhh, baby, baby, shhh, it’s OK, it’s OK. You just be the best Joao Felix that you can be… because there will never be anyone who can match my skills or my amount of troph- -my good looks. Here…I want you to take this. It is trophy from something I don’t remember. Whoa, the Nations League cup. Aw, man. I don’t deserve this. I think it should go to our best player. Ah, thank you, but, you know, I already have too many trophies. Oh, no, I meant Bernardo. And here is the kitchen. Whoa. So, I decided to take Luka Jovic under my wing. I even let him into my elite society: ‘LUKAS OF REAL MADRID.’ OK, so, this is the Pirlo wine dispenser if you want wine. This is, uh, Maradona flour dispenser if you like to bake or something. What does this one do? Oh, that’s the Ballon d’Or. It’s supposed to make people care about you, but it does not seem to work. Here we are, lads! Looks like we’re taking over the Man United room. I think I found Fellaini’s old hair. I think I found Alexis Sanchez. Guten tag! Any of you Englanders want some schweinekrusten? Germany definitely changed me. But now, I’m in the Premier League, So, I’m trying to make an effort to understand British culture, innit? So what the heck is up with this Brexit thing? Christian. Stop talking. Listen, Gabriel, I swear- I’m going to find a way to get you more involved. You are just too talented- Ah, Jurgen, my worthy German rival. Pep, my classy Catalan competitor. Champions League trophy…very nice. Premier League trophy…very nice. My doctor says whenever I get a trophy craving I should just put in a commemorative DVD to remind me that it’s really about the journey, not the destination so much. It was a good run at Ajax, but I’m very excited to join Juventus because, well, mainly they’re paying me a lot of money. Hey, Giorgio! My brother! So excited to be on the squad. What’s up? New transfers. Over there. I like it. I see so much new blood. My children, are you willing to serve to sacrifice for the Old Lady? Very good. For she needs the fresh, new blood to stay strong…to stay young. To be… JUVENTUS. Wait…aren’t vampires supposed to like…not be in the sun? Vampire? Oh, I’m not a vampire. No, he just drains the life from everyone who plays with him. Hit the “subscribe” button to support our show, Hit the “subscribe” button to support our show, and get notified about new episodes. That way you can be addicted to our videos And not to… Cigarettes.
I started David Lopez Football Academy because I believe in children. I wish I had me when I was little. In Mexico we would play with a ball made of cardboard and duct tape. We used the orange mesh bags that fruit comes in to make the goal. It was a magical time. But then an injury to my ACL took me out of the game forever. David told me that his first memory coming home from the hospital, watching TV all day long, most babies, they don’t watch soccer. If it wasn’t for his injury, he could’ve been a super star. We’re very proud to sponsor his team. We own the Chavez Brothers Mortuary so much gratitude, you know? We still struggle every day, but we wouldn’t be here without them. Saturdays we can’t practice at the park. So Gilbert and Johnny let us practice on their, um, their field. He has some unconventional coaching methods, sure. Um, I mean, the team’s sponsored by a mortuary. It’s a little creepy and weird. But, uh, I mean hey, he gets results. Kindness, generosity, discipline, respect for elders, none of this was going on until we met Coach David. Every team needs a captain. And this year’s captain, David, Wait, wait stop! David, I need you to move aside. Jana, team captain! Come on up! Yeah! ‘Cus she’s better than him. Generally there’s lots of love between the parents and I. But, we don’t always get along. Are you kidding me?! You’re gonna charge me a trophy fee? How are you gonna charge people for a trophy? It’s a nice trophy! No, no, you know what… There was an issue with the participation trophies. You know, high quality trophies are hard to come by. And, uh, it wasn’t in the budget this year. And, you know, I had to improvise. You know, I had to think on my feet and I think I did pretty good. It’s ridiculous, this is duct tape. I paid 150 bucks for this? I don’t think so. I had to say something. It’s a nice trophy! You know what? It’s not! It’s a piece of crap! Come on, seriously? Oh my… These are handcrafted pieces of art. I mean they’re for participation trophies, but they’re meant to express excellence on the soccer field. You’re not gonna find this trophy at some dumb trophy store.
Mom, I can’t talk right now, I’m about to get hit in the dick! Ow! F*ck! Ayyyyy! *cough* Ayyyyy. Yo, good morning Logang! What’s popping? so it’s funny I just signed off yesterday’s vlog And now I’m gonna go workout so without talking too much lets do this lets do it Lets do it! lets do it! lets do it! lets do it! lets do it! lets do it!! lets do it! We did it. Okay I got my protein shak’e, That is french for shake, just kidding I lied, i also lied about having a shake, cause its gone i drank it in between the cuts got cha, got cha got cha, got cha b****h i also want to address one thing, the meth that i tried to make yesterday first off let me also say that it was candy meth, NOT REAL METH!!! , not drugs, good? anyways look apparently this stuff takes 4 hours its supposed to harden do you see, tell me if you see a problem with that wait a second its still liquid YO! this sucks! this is not an epic fail, this was a catastophic fail!! not only did it not harden, its like it became anti harden something happened along the way haa, f**k my life. anyway, i have a video collab there’s these youtube guys that are called the F2 guys who do soccer tricks so im gonna collab with them in santa monica, so I’m gonna shower off and *Epic music* Ooooo! Ooooo That’s a punt, Jeff. You almost made it halfway. oh god that one hurt i’m fine that one hurt like a bit*h i think i’mma call it a day on that uh, for all the logang watching i understand that this was the title of the video Yo, I’m 21 years old. When is it gonna end? With that obnoxiousness, that random girl and my boy George being back… That is the vlog! I am the one, the o- That’s my boy! Thank you guys for watching! If you are not a part of the Logang, make sure to subscribe! Join the family! I’m not gonna lie; it’s popping on this channel. (yeah) popping, popping level like this… *pop* Awww, he does it much better! With that, I love you Logang! I will see you tomorrow. Peace *laughing*
It’s tournament time, alright. And what is the one thing you need when you enter a tournament like this? “Heart.” No, that’s only in movies. This is real life. “Foot powder.” What? Not even close. No! The one thing you need, swag. What is that? You know what, I’m pretty sure swag was invented by Ancient Greece. “I don’t think that’s right.” What? I’m really nervous about this tournament, I mean… at least it’s one no one’s heard of so could be easy. Alright kids, we’re here. And we need to make an entrance if this team’s gonna take us serious. So, let’s get our swag on. “I still don’t know what that is.” Okay, just stop. Just stop. Okay, put these glasses on. Put ’em on, everybody grab one. And follow my lead, okay. Alright! Let’s go! Let’s do this! Come on! Jeez! It’s locked! Open it! “Go around!” You guys are right there! Just open it! “Go around!” Okay, okay! I truly believe that we have what it takes to win this tournament. We’ve been through so much as a team. We’ve practiced to the point of exhaustion. We’ve had so many lows… and just a little bit of highs. But I think that this team has what it takes to win it all. That was our goal! You just scored on yourselves! Son of a gun! “Your kid sucks!” “Hey, my kid doesn’t suck. His kid sucks!” “Hey, you know what? Your kid does suck!” “Your kid sucks. Sucks!” “Hey coach, why don’t you learn to do your job?” Why don’t you learn to wipe your butt? “Oh, real mature, coach.” I’ll show you mature… *shouting* You know, things definitely could’ve gone better. Uh, there were some minor setbacks, on and off the field. But I really, I really have confidence in this team that they can overcome this. And at least next week we’ve got the loser’s bracket. Where losers could become champions. Of more losers, you know? And I think we could be the best losers in the world. Hey I thought that gate was closed!
I WANT TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING YOU
HAVEN’T SEEN. YOU HAVEN’T SEEN. LOOK AT THIS. JIMMY IS ON THE COVER OF THE
CORN FLACKS BOX! — CORNFLAKES BOX!>>THAT’S AMAZING.>>WOULD YOU SAY I LOOK GOOD
THERE?>>I THINK YOU LOOK FANTASTIC.>>YOU LOOK INCREDIBLE.>>YOU SAY I LOOK GOOD IN THERE?>>YEAH, BETTER — I THINK YOU
LOOK BETTER THERE THAN DO YOU NOW.>>James: WOW, HE GIVES WITH ONE
HAND AND TAKES WITH THE OTHER.>>IT’S FOOTBALL JERSEYS. FOOTBALL JERSEYS ARE SO HARD TO
PULL OFF WITHOUT — I ROLLED UP MY SLEEVES. CASUAL FOOTBALL JERSEY IS TOUGH.>>THIS IS ANTONIO —
>>I KNOW IT’S ANTONIO. YOU’RE A GOLD MEDAL ATHLETE,
MUCH RESPECT. YOU STILL KIND OF LOOK FAT.>>James: DUDE, KRASINSKI.>>DON’T RUN AWAY FROM ME,
KRASINSKI!>>James: THE FOOTBALL JERSEY
WITHOUT PANTS, IT’S LIKE, YOU KNOW.>>I FEEL LIKE THIS BIT ENDS
WITH HIM TAKING HIS SHIRT OFF AND US LOOKING LIKE IDIOTS.>>James: HA-HA.>>HEY, PAL, WHATEVER IT TAKES.>>I WON’T DO THAT.>>James: YOU’RE BOTH BIG MUSCLE
PLAYERS. THIS IS HUGE. WHAT AGE ARE YOU HERE?>>THAT IS ME AT 35.>>James: HA-HA.>>LOOKS LIKE A PARACHUTE. I WAS DECENT. I’M THE RUNT IN MY FAMILY.>>James: RIGHT.>>MY BROTHERS ARE 6’8″ AND
6’9″. I WASN’T AS GOOD AS THEM.>>TAKE THAT PICTURE AND PUT IT
AWAY. I’M SAYING.>>I DON’T KNOW, BECAUSE I LIKE
ART.>>SORRY OUR A CEREAL BOX.>>YOU GOT ME.>>James: YOU PLAY THE PICKUP
GAME?>>I DO.>>James: WHAT POSITION DO YOU
PLAY?>>I PLAY JEW. I’M STARTING JEW. UM.>>DO YOU PLAY —
>>ARE YOU KIDDING? I PLAY IN JORDAN 11.>>NO I MEAN, LOOK, I DON’T WANT
TO — I DON’T WANT TO — NO [ BLEEP ]. [ BLEEP ].>>NOVEMBER 4TH COMES REAL SOON. REAL SOON.>>YEP. YEP.>>CARMELO ANTHONY — NOVEMBER
4TH COMES REAL SOON.>>YOU’RE KIDDING!>>REALLY SERIOUS RIGHT NOW.>>James: I WANT TO SEE YOU BOTH
HAVE A FIGHT.>>I WAS JUST GOING SAY, NOT
ONLY COULD I SMOKE OUT COURT, BUT I THINK I COULD TAKE YOU
PHYSICALLY ON A FIGHT.>>THIS IS NOT COMBAT. THIS IS A FIGHT.>>IN A VIDEO GAME.>>James: IN A VIDEO GAME.
Here we are in Toronto the most diverse city
in the entire world I mean where else in the world can you go into an
Irish pub and have a Sri Lankan guy make you the best sushi pizza ever? Here in Toronto baby and it’s all about one
thing tonight Soccer! Or is it football? Or is it soccer? Football or soccer? Football! Soccer! Football Soccer I’m from nothern Ontario. Hockey! Toronto Football Club So how do the Argos feel about that? Football Soccer It’s soccer but it’s football here in Canada What?! It’s a party tonight though [In unison] Football! [foreign language] Hey watch your language! He said something Newfinese It’s like a cross between an amazing sporting
event and a Mexican student revolution. What country are you from? We’re from Iraq Liverpool baby! England, England! Chile! Tanzania and Uganda From India Scottish Hungary Jamaica Barbados Iceland! Woooooo! [Rocket sounds] This is exactly like the Toronto Maple Leafs
verses the Montreal Canadiens but only if the salary cap was $6000 Do you know how many Newfoundland weddings are pissed off that we’re wasting all this good tissue paper? Oh yeah! Yeah!! Yeah!!! Oh! This is crazy!! [Fans cheering & stomping] Is it soccer or is it football? I can only come to one conclusion: That Toronto Maple Leaf fans suck! [Crowd chanting] TFC! TFC!
– AT THE AGE OF FIVE,
OUR NEXT GUEST HAS BEEN BATTLING LEUKEMIA
FOR HALF OF HIS LIFE, BUT LAST WEEK,
SOMETHING AMAZING HAPPENED. TAKE A LOOK. – JP GIBSON
IS THE NEWEST MEMBER OF THE UTAH JAZZ TEAM
FOR THE DAY. – JP, HOW MANY POINTS
ARE YOU GONNA SCORE TONIGHT? – UM, SEVEN. [laughter] – I DON’T THINK
THERE ARE WORDS TO EXPRESS– I MEAN, WE ARE SO GRATEFUL. – [singing]
YEAH, YOU CAN BE THE GREATEST YOU CAN BE THE BEST YOU CAN BE THE KING KONG
BANGING ON YOUR CHEST – JP GIBSON
HAS COME INTO THE GAME. INBOUND TO JP. HERE HE COMES. WORKING THROUGH THE BIG MEN. NOVAK MISSES ON THE STEAL. HE GOES BY EXUM. GOBERT IS THERE. HE SLIDES BY GOBERT. HE RISES TO THE RIM
AND HAMMERS! JP GIBSON WITH A TWO-HAND FLUSH! – [singing]
AND YOU’LL BE ON THE WALLS OF THE HALL OF FAME [applause] – FROM LAYTON, UTAH,
PLEASE WELCOME FIVE-YEAR OLD JP GIBSON
AND HIS PARENTS MEGAN AND JOSH. HELLO, YOU THREE.
HOW ARE YOU? – WE’RE GREAT.
– GREAT. – IT’S NICE TO MEET YOU, JP. – THANKS.
– THANKS FOR BEING HERE. I LIKE YOUR OUTFIT TOO. THAT’S REALLY GREAT.
– THANKS. – WELL, THERE’S TWO THINGS
THAT ARE CONSISTENT IN OUR HOUSEHOLD IS–
FIRST THING THAT HAPPENS WHEN I COME HOME FROM WORK IS,
I GET A BIG HUG FROM JP, AND NUMBER TWO IS,
MY WIFE’S WATCHING YOUR SHOW. SO THOSE ARE THE CONSISTENT–
– THOSE ARE THE CONSTANTS? – YEAH.
– IT’S TRUE. NO. YOU HAVE MADE
A LOT OF BAD DAYS BRIGHT, SO… – OH, THANK YOU SO MUCH. THAT MAKES ME FEEL
VERY, VERY HAPPY. [cheers and applause] – THANK YOU.
– THANK YOU. SO THIS–I MEAN,
WATCHING THAT VIDEO OF JP PLAYING
WITH THESE NBA PLAYERS, HOW WAS THAT–
HOW DID THAT FEEL? – IT’S–OH.
– UM… – DID YOU LIKE IT, JP?
DID YOU HAVE FUN? – YEAH.
– YEAH. AND YOU MADE A REALLY GOOD DUNK
RIGHT THERE TOO, DIDN’T YOU. – YEAH.
– YEAH. – YOU KNOW, AS A PARENT,
JUST WATCHING THAT, IT’S AMAZING. HIS CONFIDENCE THAT HE HAD
IS JUST LIKE WE WERE PLAYING HOOPS
AT THE HOUSE, AND HE BEATS ME
EVERY TIME TOO. AND IT’S JUST KIND OF
HOW HE HANDLES LIFE WITH HIS–YOU KNOW, BATTLING HIS CANCER
AND GETTING CHEMO. HE’S ALWAYS SO POSITIVE,
AND HE’S A ROCK, AND HE’S MY LITTLE HERO. – YEAH, I WOULD THINK
THAT THAT WOULD BE THE HARDEST THING TO DEAL WITH
AS PARENTS, YOU KNOW. IT’S HARD ENOUGH
TO RAISE A CHILD, BUT THEN TO BE FIGHTING
SOMETHING LIKE THIS. AND IF I CAN BE
A TINY BRIGHT SPOT IN YOUR DAY, THEN MY LIFE IS WORTHWHILE. I’M GLAD THAT I CAN HELP YOU
IN ANY WAY. NOW, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE
WHEN YOU GROW UP, JP? – A JAZZ PLAYER. – YOU’RE GONNA PLAY–
A JAZZ PLAYER? THAT’S GREAT.
– ANYTHING ELSE? – A UTES PLAYER
AND A GIANTS PLAYERS AND A BRAVES PLAYER. [laughter] – SO THAT WAS THE UTES,
THE GIANTS, THE BRAVES. – OKAY.
– ANYTHING ELSE? – AND A SOCCER PLAYER.
– AND A SOCCER PLAYER. – WHAT ABOUT
YOUR FAVORITE SHOW– BESIDES “ELLEN,” SO… – YEAH. – “AMERICAN NINJA WARRIOR”
AND “WIPEOUT.” – “AMERICAN NINJA WARRIOR.” – OH, YOU’RE GONNA– YOU’RE GONNA BE VERY BUSY. YOU’RE GONNA HAVE SO MUCH– – CANCER’S NOT GONNA STOP HIM. – NO, NO, OF COURSE NOT. NOT WHEN YOU HAVE BIG PLANS
LIKE THAT. WE HAVE SOME BASKETBALLS
OVER HERE, AND WE THOUGHT
WE’D SHOOT SOME HOOPS, BUT WE PROBABLY NEED
SOME PLAYERS, RIGHT? WE NEED SOMEBODY TO HELP US.
– MAYBE. – SO FROM THE UTAH JAZZ,
PLEASE WELCOME JP’S FAVORITE PLAYERS,
GORDON HAYWARD AND DERRICK FAVORS. [cheers and applause] – [singing]
I’M COMING HOME I’M COMING HOME TELL THE WORLD I’M COMING HOME LET THE RAIN WASH AWAY – OH, MY GOD. HEY.
– HOW YOU DOING? HOW YOU DOING? I’M DERRICK.
HOW YOU DOING? – WHAT A SURPRISE.
– HOW YOU DOING? – THANK YOU FOR COMING.
– HI. HOW ARE YOU? – IS THAT AWESOME?
– I’M GOOD. – WHAT’S UP, JP?
– LET’S GO SHOOT SOME HOOPS. – WHAT’S UP, MAN?
– HOW YOU DOING? – HOW ARE YOU?
– I’M DOING GOOD. – HEY, THANK YOU FROM COMING.
– YES. – OH, MY GOSH.
– GO PLAY. – ALL RIGHT,
SO WE’LL HEAD ON DOWN HERE. – GO ON, BUDDY. – WE MIGHT SHOOT SOME HOOPS
DOWN HERE, OKAY? WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS, JP?
GOOD? WHAT DO YOU THINK OF JP?
– YEAH. – HOW ‘BOUT HIM?
– HE’S A WONDERFUL KID, MAN. – COME ON IN HERE. – YOU KNOW, WHEN I HEARD
ABOUT HIS STORY, YOU KNOW, IT GAVE ME
SO MUCH STRENGTH AND SO MUCH INSPIRATION, MAN. YOU KNOW, I’M SORRY TO HEAR
WHAT HE GOING THROUGH, BUT, YOU KNOW,
HE’S A GREAT KID– STRONG KID AND BRAVE PERSON,
MAN. I’M PROUD OF HIM.
– YEAH. AND HE’S GONNA GROW INTO
THAT UNIFORM. I HAVE A FEELING
HE’S GONNA KEEP GROWING… [laughter] AND HE’S GONNA GROW INTO IT AND BE YOUR HEIGHT ONE DAY AND BE PLAYING, I HOPE. – YEAH, HOPEFULLY.
– YEAH. ALL RIGHT, WELL, I KNOW
THAT A LOT OF THE MONEY HAS GONE TO MEDICAL BILLS,
AND SHUTTERFLY WANTS TO HELP PEOPLE SHARE LIFE’S JOY, SO THEY WANT TO GIVE YOU A LITTLE GIFT OF $10,000. [cheers and applause] – OH, MY GOD. – ALL RIGHT, THANK YOU SO MUCH
FOR SHARING YOUR STORY WITH US. – OH, MY GOSH, THANK YOU. – AND YOU PROBABLY WANT TO THROW A BASKETBALL OR SOMETHING. HE’S LIKE, “WHAT’S GOING ON?” [laughter] “THIS IS SO BORING.” LOOK, $10,000.
THAT’S ALL RIGHT THERE. – IS THAT COOL? [laughter] – ALL RIGHT,
WE HAVE ANOTHER GIFT. WE HAVE SEASONS TICKETS ALSO
TO THE JAZZ FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY. [cheers and applause] A BUNCH OF COOL STUFF. – IS THAT AWESOME?
– THIS IS THE FIGHT
EVERYBODY’S BEEN WAITING FOR, BUT WHEN I GET ANDRE
IN THE RING, MAN, IT’S GONNA BE CRUEL
AND QUICK, ‘CAUSE IT’S GONNA BE, LIKE,
ONE-TWO, ONE-TWO, BOOM, AND YOU OUT. – MAN, [bleep] YOU,
CLAUDIUS LEWIS. I’M GONNA [bleep] YOU
RIGHT IN THE ASS. YEAH, I’M GONNA
BEND YOU OVER AND [bleep] YOU
RIGHT IN THE ASS[bleep]. – ALL RIGHT,
YOU KNOW WHAT? ANDRE, HE LIKE TO BE– TRY TO GET INTO
HIS OPPONENTS’ HEADS BY SAYING CRAZY STUFF. HE AIN’T GONNA
GET INTO MY HEAD. HE AIN’T GONNA GET
INTO MY HEAD. – NO, I’M NOT GONNA
GET IN YOUR HEAD. I’M GONNA
GET IN YOUR ASS[bleep] JUST LIKE I SAID,
JUST RIGHT UP IN THERE IN THAT TINY, LITTLE,
MINISCULE ASS[bleep] OF YOURS. THIS IS WHAT’S GONNA HAPPEN. I’M GONNA TAKE YOU
TO A NICE, HIGH-FANCY,
HIGHFALUTIN RESTAURANT, AND I’M GONNA BUY YOU THINGS,
WINE AND DINE YOU. AND WE’RE GONNA FIND SOME THINGS
THAT WE HAVE IN COMMON, AND THEY’RE GONNA
BECOME INSIDE JOKES TO US. AND THEN, WE’RE JUST GONNA
LAUGH ABOUT THEM IN THE TAXI ALL THE WAY
TO YOUR HOUSE, WHERE I’M GONNA [bleep] YOU
IN THE ASS. – OH, OKAY, NOW, JU– JUST ME P-PERSONALLY,
I’VE NEVER– YOU KNOW,
I AIN’T EVER SEEN ANDRE TAKE IT THAT FAR BEFORE, BUT–
[chuckles] WHAT–WHATEVER. – YEAH, WHATEVER.
I’LL TELL YOU WHATEVER. WHATEVER, I’M GONNA FINALLY
GONNA FEEL COMFORTABLE TAKING YOU OUT
TO DINNER PARTIES. AND THEN, ALL OF OUR FRIENDS
WHO ARE ALSO COUPLES, THEY’RE JUST
GONNA LAUGH AT US ‘CAUSE WE’RE THAT COUPLE
THAT HOLDS HANDS ALL THE TIME. AND LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING,
CLAUDIUS. WE LOVE EACH OTHER
SO VERY MUCH THAT NO MATTER
HOW TIRED I AM, NO MATTER HOW MUCH BULL[bleep]
I’VE DEALT WITH OVER THE DAY, I’M JUST GONNA
LEAVE IT AT THE DOOR WHEN I [bleep] YOU
IN THE ASS. – OKAY,
YOU KNOW WHAT, MAN? IT’S TIME FOR YOU TO STOP
ALL THAT NONSENSE RIGHT NOW, ALL RIGHT? DID HE JUST SAY HE WAS GONNA
TAKE ME TO DINNER PARTIES? – HE DID SAY
“DINNER PARTIES.” – WE’RE GONNA SNUGGLE
ON THE COUCH EVERY NIGHT. I’M GONNA LET YOU
PICK THE MOVIE, EVEN THOUGH YOU ALWAYS
PICK THE MOVIE. THEN I’M GONNA TAKE YOU OUT
FOR A WALK ON THE BEACH, AND THE MOONLIGHT’S
GONNA BOUNCE OFF OF YOUR SCALP. AND I’M JUST GONNA KISS YOU
SO TENDERLY WHILE THE WAVES BREAK, AND THEN
RIGHT THERE, RIGHT THEN, I’M GONNA [bleep] YOU
IN THE SANDY ASS[bleep]. – ALL RIGHT, IT’S TIME FOR YOU
TO SHUT YOUR FOOL MOUTH! – IS IT? IS IT TIME?
– YES, IT IS TIME. IT’S TIME FOR YOU
TO SHUT YOUR MOUTH! – WE GONNA SPEND
THE GOLDEN YEARS TOGETHER. – OH, YEAH?
– YEAH. – OH, YEAH?
– YEAH. I’M GONNA SUPPORT YOU
ALL THE WAY THROUGH YOUR RUN
THROUGH CITY COUNCIL. YEAH, THAT’S RIGHT,
AND YOU’RE GONNA BE TIRED, AND EXHAUSTED,
AND OVERWORKED, BUT WE’RE GONNA
STILL FIND THE ENERGY TO GO ANTIQUING ON THE WEEKENDS.
– OH, YEAH? AND THEN, YOU’RE GONNA
BE ON YOUR DEATHBED, AND YOU’RE GONNA
BE SITTIN’ THERE, AND YOU’RE GONNA BE DYIN’. AND I’M GONNA
BE RIGHT BESIDE YOU, AND I’M GONNA BE CRYIN’. AND RIGHT AT THAT MOMENT
WHEN YOU CROSS OVER FROM THIS WORLD
INTO THE NEXT, I’M GONNA [bleep] YOU
IN THE ASS[bleep]. – OH, MAN,
I WISH YOU’D TRY. – OH, YOU DO?
– I WISH THAT YOU WOULD TRY. – WELL,
WISH [bleep]ING GRANTED. [laughter] NO, I LOVE THE VILLAGE
AS MUCH AS THE NEXT GUY, BUT I’M TELLING YOU,
IF WE CONTINUE TO SELF-SEGREGATE OURSELVES,
THE ENTIRE GAY COMMUNITY’S GONNA CONTINUE
TO BE “MARGARINE-IZED” I WAS JUST SAYING THIS
TO CLAUDIUS THE OTHER NIGHT RIGHT AFTER I [bleep] HIM
IN THE ASS. – YEAH, HE DID,
HE DID. – ANYWAY, ENOUGH POLITICS.