Mean Tweets – NBA Edition #5

October 5, 2019

Zach LaVine looks like
the type of guy that tries his girlfriend’s bra
on in college as a joke, but kinda liked it. I bet DeAndre Jordan
is so bad at free throws because his eyes are
so close together. These people are mean. [BLEEP] you and your
pineapple head, Mike Conley. That’s the look I was going for. Pineapple. Personally, I
think Paul George could be traded for, like,
half a bag of saltine crackers. The dopest thing
about Karl Anthony-Towns is that he looks
like a gigantic, extraordinarily athletic baby. Devin Booker looks
like a fancy lesbian. Wow. Jay Williams is a
perfect studio analyst. His left eye is
looking at his co-host while his right eye is
looking into the camera. If you look up the word
douche in the dictionary, you’ll see a picture of
Hitler, but in the picture he’s holding up a
photo of Caron Butler. All right, come on, man. That’s truly harsh, right there. Doc Rivers’
hairline fufu as hell. That’s just his
forehead, wrinkled up. Tell Walt Frazier to
sit his old porkchop sideburns ass down. Michelle Beadle’s hair
looks like it hasn’t been washed since the late ’90s. Well, technically not
all this is even my hair, so maybe it hasn’t. Pretty sure Joel Embiid
has the IQ of a squirrel. Um, OK. James Harden always
looks like he’s just about to lead the
Israelites through the Red Sea. Magic Johnson becoming
GM is just another reminder that any stupid
person can do anything they set their mind to. I don’t think Shaq is dumb,
but he sure sounds like it. Naw. [BLEEP] Twitter. Karl Malone ain’t
doing this [BLEEP].

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