Articles, Blog

HOW2: How to Wrestle a Bear!

August 13, 2019


– Howdy howdy, fruit lovers. Now Pear and I do a lot of these episodes where the advice is kinda, well… – Terrible? Downright false? The exact opposite of what
you should actually do? – Yeah, something like that, but today we’re gonna
give it to you straight. So what’s the prompt, Pear? I’m in the mood to give
some real good advice. Bring it on.
– Alright, here you go. This week, Ryan wants to
know how to wrestle a bear. – Nice! Let’s do this.
– Do what? Answer how to wrestle a bear? Dude, we have no clue how to do that. – No, Ryan knows what he’s doing. Look at his question again. He’s not asking how to
wrestle a bear, Pear. He’s telling us.
– I don’t follow. – It’s a code, duh.
Ryan gave us the answer. You wrestle a bear by using burgers, doughnuts, and footballs. – Orange, I think you’ve
officially lost it. – Maybe. – Why? – To lure the bear into a
confrontation on your terms, duh. – Okay, I guess that kind of makes sense. – If you’re gonna wrestle a bear and win, gonna want home court advantage.
That’s just common sense. – The heck? I can’t believe
I’m actually saying this, but I’m on board with this so far. Go on. – Thank you. Next up: – Oh, this ought to be good. – To curry the bear’s favor, Pear. Bears like doughnuts too, you know. – I guess that’s not untrue. – Of course it isn’t not never untrue. Doughnuts are delicious to
everybody. Hairy or otherwise. So before the wrestling begins, use the doughnuts to gain the
bear’s trust and friendship. – I don’t even know how this happened, but you’re making decent points so far. You have some explaining to
do on the footballs though. – Of course. The footballs
are the most important part. Now that you’re chummy with the bear and in the last moments,
pull a Charlie Brown on him. The bear is down. The
bear is down! He’s pinned. And this wrestling match is over, folks. – Alright, you had me. Then you lost me. – Yo, what’chu talkin’ ’bout? That would totally work in real life. – Dude, that would
never work in real life. You’re gonna do football placekicks with a bear in real life? – Of course, Pear. I thought
through this bear-y thoroughly. – Yeah? Then prove it. There’s
a bear. Go on. Wrestle it. – Oh. Um, hey bear. – Yo, what up? – You wanna, you know, do
some football placekicks? – Do I look like I was born yesterday? You’re gonna pull it away and
do that Charlie Brown thing. – Nuh-uh.
– Yeah-huh. – Nuh-uh.
– Yeah-huh. – Nuh-uh.
– Okay, fine. Whoa! – Oh, look out for that TNT detonator I placed over there for some reason. (shouting) (jaunty circus music)

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100 Comments

  • Reply Christian Guillen August 20, 2018 at 12:43 pm

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    Well, the footballs are to hit the bear (if your a scaredy pear!) or to stun the bear THEN hit!

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