Articles, Blog

Acoustic Kitty and Bat Bombs: Citation Needed 6×05

November 29, 2019

This is the Technical Difficulties, we’re
playing ‘Citation Needed’. Joining me today,
he reads books y’know, it’s Chris Joel. I thought o’summat on t’train, but it’s
gone now. Everybody’s favourite Gary Brannan,
Gary Brannan. So in the end I just stocked up on booze from
the Tesco’s, had a massive dump and went to sleep. And the bounciest man on the internet,
Matt Gray. And this is what a live studio audience applauding
sounds like! And today we are talking about ‘Acoustic Kitty’. Is it when you don’t put the jack in before
you squeeze it? What? Acoustic kitty. Electric kitty! Right, yes. You’re playing a cat with a feedback pedal,
I get where you’re going with that. I didn’t get the ‘jack’ bit and I thought
it was like a car-jack or something. No, just grab the tail. No, that’s elevated kitty. Yes, if you did it with a cat’s tail they
do get, generally, a little bit higher each time. Top Cat! And when you take it out, low cat. Is it like some kind of loud bank? Oh, get out. Get out! I’ve just worked that one out. Get out. You’ve going to have to explain that one. Isn’t a kitty like a fund or something? Yes, it is. That got a boo! I’m all about the groaning today! Today, may I say, on behalf of us and the
entire audience, you are the f***ing worst. Oh, harsh(!) Surely every cat is acoustic? I’m telling you, man, not necessarily! So since Bob Dylan electrified his cat, then…? You’re actually in roughly the right era. So 1960s. Yes, absolutely. And it’s an actual cat. Yes, it is an actual cat. But, it’s not like cats were silent until
the ’60s. It’s not like no one had ever, I don’t know,
surprised one or stood on its tail,
or actually not fed one because, trust me, they are f***ing acoustic
when they’ve not been fed. I know, but until 1916 they used to have another,
smaller cat following them around with a series of placards
saying “meow” on them. Until, one day, the first cat burped,
and went… And they found their first talkie. I just had the worst and best idea
at the same time. Teach your cat to hook a little flag onto
its tail that says what it actually means. How would you train the cat in the first place? One of the flags it would need would be the
flag to say, “Don’t train me to hold up flags!” Can I just say, in the five seconds that I
had there to work this s*** out, at no point had I thought this through. That’s abundantly clear! Right, I thought, “Oh, you could do that”. By the time you started going,
I went, “Oh, you really can’t.” It’s fine. That’s how the process of discovery happens. Well! Look before you leap. Don’t nail flags to cats without considering
the consequences. I did not mention nails! I said hook. It’s a little thing like that, like you
get on a- What? A ringworm? No! I know the thing, it’s on the top of an
orange juice carton. One of those- – Ring-pull?
– Yes! How will that hold a flag on? – Glue!
– You want a ring-pull feline? Why just not nail it to the cat then? A ring-pull’s for taking things off! Yes, but I’m finding another use for it,
for f***’s sake! Oh, you’re recycling now! Yes! – First buy your orange juice.
– Yes! Yes! – Pull the tab, place to one side.
– Yes! Drink the orange juice, cut the flag out of
the orange juice… So hold on, this is basically a cat saying, “orange juice” for the rest of its life? On the one side it says orange juice… …on the other side it says nothing! On the other it says, “Food” or, “Toilet”
or, “I hate you” or, “Ow.” And you’re going to train the cat to get
a different one…? Yes, I am, there’ll be… But they can’t use the scissors to cut out
the orange juice carton! They have a HUMAN HELPER! You haven’t thought this through! I know! Stop judging me! I have all these ideas, all the time! You’ve managed to catch one in the nth-of-a-second that the idea existed as a thing in my mind. Anybody else want to take a swing, just while we’ve got him on the run? While he’s down? The thing is, amidst all that, Gary… – Oh god.
– Don’t tell me he’s got a point. You were talking about terrible ideas that
briefly sounded like a good thing, and I’m giving you a point for it. Yes! Here we go… Isn’t there a thing in ‘Monty Python’ where
they hit mice to make an instrument? Is that like an acoustic kitty but with- You’re thinking the wrong way round here. You’re thinking production of noise. A listening cat? Espionage? F***! So, you feed the cat LSD to achieve mind control, put on your tinfoil hat and send it to listen. – You’ve got one part of that right…
– Tinfoil hat! and it’s not the LSD or the tinfoil hat. Tinfoil cat! So, they’ve strapped a tape recorder or
something to a cat and let it wander in places. A big reel-to-reel on the back. A big Uher on the back! I’ll give you the point, they did attach something to it but it wasn’t
a big reel-to-reel tape. Oh, it’d be a radio transmitter… Rockets! Yes… No. It’s got to get there, and they don’t
walk far. You’ve absolutely right. You’ve also used the word ‘strap’, I’m giving you a point for radio transmitter, but strap is definitely not right. Implant? – Absolutely right.
– What?! Apparently, I’m the sensible one this
episode. Yes. So, me putting my cat in a dress
for medical reasons is weird but implanting a microphone in a cat,
totes normal. That’s the way today’s going for everybody. Yes, in an hour-long procedure
a veterinary surgeon implanted a microphone in the cat’s ear canal Oh… a small radio transmitter
at the base of its skull Oh! and a thin wire into its fur. Agh! That’s what the cat said. I like the fact it’s a perfectly normal
looking cat after this, apart from the aerial with the red flashing
light on top. Who might’ve done that? Is it… is it… is it Russia? No. Is it… is it… is it America? Yes. Yes, it was the CIA Directorate
of Science and Technology. How the hell did the CIA manage to out-weird
Russian intelligence? They probably didn’t, but we don’t know
what the Russians were up to, because of Russian intelligence. While they were implanting
microphones in cats the Russians were firing theirs into
the icy vacuum of space, let’s face it. With even bigger antennas! Yes, it was the CIA from America. The idea being that the cat
would wander into a place and just be surreptitiously recording things. Let me guess, the cat didn’t wander where
they wanted it to wander. Because it’s a cat. Yes. What they did they have to do another operation
to get around? Oh no, this isn’t the old woman
who swallowed a fly is it? They don’t end up sending an elephant in
to distract from the cat? They’ve invented, by the way, the Cyberman
cat there, incidentally! Because they’ve been replacing parts. Make them bionic. But, how can you… I can only go in grim places to what they
had to do to fix… They bypassed the cat’s sense of hunger,
apparently. – Oh, for… how?!
– What?! – Grim.
– I’m just quoting what it says here. It is grim. Cats are always hungry. Yes, that was one of the problems with it. The CIA really know what tuna sounds like. (Is that what cats eat?
I’ve never fed one.) So, how much did this cost? To get a cat, to do the research- Well, the cat’s cheap. Yes, to be fair, the cat was probably cheap
but the entire project here, according to Victor Marchetti,
former CIA officer, how much did they spend on a… on a cat? Was it a dollar sign
with the word “ridiculous” after it? Hang on, Price is Right rules? Yeah, Price is Right rules, closest one without
going over. We’re in dollars, yes? Yes, we’re in US dollars. US dollars in the 1960s, so it’s about half what you have now. I’m going to say half-a-million. He’s saying half-a-million. “One million dollars.” Now, we know what you do now. Is he going to do the $1 bid,
or is he going to go high? Well, I’m not going high, I was going to
say $150,000 but you pointed to him first. Well, you’re correct
but you’re not even close, $20m. F***! So they got the cat. No way, really? They implanted things in the cat. Where did they release the cat? Okay, not… surely not in the abroads? No, it was in America, I’ll give you that. Embassy Row, if there is such a thing, in New York, or Washington or something. Yes, you’re absolutely right, the Soviet
compound in Washington DC. So, someone walked up to the Soviet compound, – bunged a cat over the wall…
– threw a cat at it! Or was it parachuted in? No, the first mission was to eavesdrop on
two men in a park out… …sorry, parachuted?! Yeah! I’m not entirely convinced that a cat is
going to be really good at pulling its rip-cord. It’s coming from low-altitude, it’ll have
the wire that… – It’s a static line.
– Oh, wire attached to it. Ha-ha! Not so stupid now. They released it. It did wander towards the park bench. What happened? It died of hunger because they’d bypassed
its hunger centre. I was going to say,
they bypassed its hunger centre, but it’d go in to the kitchen
and eat all the lovely tuna that had been left cooling on a window-sill,
or something like that. Put a wee flag up saying, “I’m a spy.” Did it immediately have a dump? Yeah, mark its territory. And that’s all that was recorded. Marking its territory, yes. It is, sadly, a little bit harsher. Oh, hit by a car. Yes, hit by a taxi immediately. Oh, we’re all the worst… The twenty million dollar cat… “We can rebuild it!…
oh actually, never mind.” …was hit by a taxi almost immediately. Are these guys with dark glasses, dark car parked over the round from the compound, releasing the cat out of the boot of the car… “Good work agent, and now we…” The former Director of the CIA Technical Service said that’s an urban myth, and the actual
problem with it was what? It walked off. Yes, training the cat, I’ll give you the
point for that. The project was considered to be a failure
and a total loss. What happened to the cat? Well, you just said it got run over. Did it have a proper military burial? No, this is the alternate story. This is what the CIA- Did it defect to work for the other side? I like that idea because clearly the Russians
have better tuna. It goes through the gate, on the other side
is a Russian Blue. “Welcome, Agent Tiddles.” If the Russians had better tuna… they’d be able to pick up on the frequencies
transmitted by it better. Tuner, oh… Radio tuner, oh my god. Four. It’s passed the boundary. Snuck over. Yes, I’m sorry, it’s an ugly four, though, it really is, it’s off the edge. According to that CIA Director, what happened to that cat once they ended
the program? Did it just go and live with other people
all the time, picking up on hilarious conversations that could be made into an excellent film
now I’ve just thought of it? There’s a cracking kids’ book in that. Yes. Yes, the equipment was taken out of the cat,
the cat was resewn. Hang on, that’s two massive things you’ve
just skipped over there. One, “the equipment was taken out of the cat”
is a sentence that I’m pretty hopeful would only be heard
in this room today, and, “The cat was sewn up.” Yes, it was, and lived a long and happy life
afterwards. I’m going with hypothesis A somehow. I can only imagine that it actually
got shipped off to Portmeirion and it’s now wearing a little blue blazer and being chased by just a normal sized balloon
down a beach. It’s a slow burning
‘Prisoner’ reference there. That was a slow burn. This is getting some weird reactive wave. Anyone who’s seen ‘The Prisoner’,
that landed, that was good. I’m envisioning the whole thing now. You can see the whole title sequence,
can’t you? Entertain yourselves, this is a good half-hour
for me now. I have managed to pull up here something from the actual National Archives
of the United States, a redacted document. About a cat? What did they think they could do with cats? Distractionating! While a better trained animal actually goes and does the listening. What, like a chimp with a little microphone? And a suit, and shaved. Obviously, you’ve got to blend in. In fact, just a small person. We could even use full-sized people. We could call them spies! “That’s a step too far, agent.” “Okay…!” I suppose, the only thing a cat can do is just wander in unexpected and everyone be
fine with that. Yes, you’re absolutely right, trained to
walk short distances. That was $20m and high-tech cat bug equipment- – To go 5 metres?
– Yes. And only if they wanted to go that way anyway. Why don’t you just lob it? Again, however, and I’m quoting here, “The environmental and security factors
force us to conclude that, “for our purposes, it would not be practical.” “But, damn it, we tried”, basically. Have you ever had an essay where you know
your conclusion is terrible? Yes. But you have to write a conclusion anyway. Yes. “The work done on this problem over the
years reflects great credit “on the personnel who guided it,
particularly… ‘redacted’, “whose energy and imagination could be models
for scientific pioneers.” S***, I probably know the guy, yeah. There is a connection here to an article labelled
‘remote control animal’. What?! Is that an animal used to remote control or
remote control of an animal? Remote control of an animal. Ohh… ‘Cos the other way round they use pigeons
for bombs. I was going to say, pigeons in bombs. The Brits did that, I think. They put a pigeon in a bomb and they trained
it to peck on cities. Yes, you’re absolutely right. It pecked on a bit of glass and which bit
of glass they did pulled a lever which made the bomb turn, and then it went down to the ground. It landed. Well done there, that was worth it. So, it wasn’t that? No, it wasn’t,
but that’s a brilliant story. Yes, it was BF Skinner’s pigeon controlled
guided bomb. How do you think that worked? What, for the pigeon it sounds pretty s***
either way, I’ll be honest. What did we call this weapon, incidentally? Er, Project Pigeon. That’s a shame. Clever. Clever. I was going to go for the V-Coo. Did Churchill not like the idea? Is this one of these where you could flick
a coin and on Monday he’d like it and on Tuesday
he’d hate it? “Our problem was no one would take us seriously.” Well, if you’re going to call it
Operation Hilarious Pigeon Bomb, or whatever they called it…! There was also the Bat Bomb. They attached incendiary bombs to bats and then dropped a casing with 1000 bats on
woodland. F… what?! Incendiary bomb: thus. Bat: that. Small incendiary bomb. What, like matches basically then? Firecrackers. Yes, the idea being that it was on somewhere that had a lot of tinder and kindling, and if you have hundreds of bats, one of them’s
going to find the target. – That is horrific.
– Yes. I like the fact that the first time
they tested it they’re flying over the target, the pulled
the lever on the bomb bay, and the bats are just hung upside down in
the bomber. And on the clipboard he just writes, “maybe try night-time”
or something like that. It’s just a bloke in a white coat. “Hmm, yes.” “Bats insufficiently motivated.” It did, apparently, work. Astonishingly enough. What, dropping 1000 small incendiary bombs
caused a fire? One is stunned! The bats seem incidental to this process actually,
right now. They were more about distribution, where did
it set fire to first? – The bat houses.
– The plane. Yes, pretty much, an auxiliary airbase where
they were testing it and it got away. It’s not great, have a point. “Wait a minute, it’s night-time!” “S***.” “We used homing pigeons! “And for some reason they keep coming home.” The bats incinerated the test range and roosted
under a fuel tank. Fuel tank?! – Fuel tank, yes.
– Whaaa! It worked. It was effective, and then computer control came in a few years
later when the war ended. What, of bats? Well that’s where we started, isn’t it? This is a tangent. Can you imagine that at the start? “What caused the fire?” “Bats.” “How did the bats start a fire?” “I strapped a bomb to them.” “What happened?” “Went in the fuel tank at night.” “Oh, for God’s sake.
What else have you done?” “Homing pigeons.” “Oh no, no, no, no, no.” “Salmon with warheads on.” “Oh s***, they’re going to come back
aren’t they?” Are there still bats out there that have to
be defused, I wonder, after the war? I don’t think bats live that long, I’ll
be honest with you. ‘Warning, unexploded bat.’ Did they evolve to have
incendiary bombs in them? That’s… not how evolution works. Yet. Tell that to the bombardier beetle. There was also, and this is a brief and quite
dark story but I’m going to go with it anyway- Oh yes, because that will change the tone
of the episode. The anti-tank dog. Alright, yeah, okay. One louder, fine(!) Was it a dog that really didn’t like tanks? Well it didn’t when it hit ’em. Quite the opposite. Trained to associate
the image of a tank with food, run towards it with… – Bomb on.
– Yes. Spot on. What was the… Well, Spot was all over it by the end of it. “Run Spot, run…!” There was one slight problem. This was a Soviet plan, what was the problem
with the plan? ‘Cos they actually got to the point of releasing
dogs on the battlefield. Ran towards T34s instead of Tigers. Yes, you’re absolutely right. They were trained on Soviet tanks so they
ran towards the Soviet tanks. I am thick as mince, and even I can see where that’s going wrong,
right? Just make a cardboard cut-out. Or a balloon, or something like that, yeah. There were some successful deployments but they eventually realised that was not
a great idea. I think that may have to be
where we call this- On that massive downer. Well, I was going to say, “On that bombshell,” but… At the end of the show, congratulations Matt,
you win this one. Yay! Very clearly, you win this one. You win some rice, raw fish and seaweed in
the shape of a luxury car. It’s a sushi Rolls Royce. With that we say thank you to Chris Joel. Bye then. To Gary Brannan. To Matt Gray. I’ve been Tom Scott,
we’ll see you next time. And thank you to you. Thank you so much. Man, that got dark. Yeah…

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  • Reply Tom Scott June 24, 2017 at 6:13 pm

    If you're wondering why the introduction's shorter this week, so am I. Apparently I just forgot to read it and no-one noticed.

  • Reply Léo Zaffran July 3, 2017 at 7:25 pm

    Oh my lord, I'm not 5 minutes in and I'm already crying from laughter!
    Garry losing his sh*t over cat flags is absolutely hilarious XD

  • Reply Cher England-Johns July 3, 2017 at 9:01 pm

    The cat defected to the USSR they have caviar.

  • Reply Einar Strandberg July 4, 2017 at 2:31 am

    I actually already knew what this was, funnily enough–though I hadn't heard the alternate story where it doesn't get hit by a car.

    Also, I got the Prisoner reference. Despite it being forty years before my time.

    I blame my father.

  • Reply papapepepenultimo July 6, 2017 at 7:30 pm

    So, this is like the poor-man's QI? Bloody love it!

    Also, Dinosaur Comics talked about this years ago.

    Also, in addition to also, Russians got better tuner.

  • Reply ailaG July 7, 2017 at 1:19 am

    How sad is it if I had already known about the cat story?

  • Reply teslaTrooper July 7, 2017 at 4:33 am

    Now I want to attach an arduino with a little SD card and mic to a cat's collar. Just need some way to parse the recordings. Maybe speech recognition with timestamps then manually listen around the time speech recognition recognizes something.

    Just have to find a cat volunteer 😀

  • Reply ScribblesOnNapkins July 7, 2017 at 8:57 pm

    I know one of the people who worked on this.

  • Reply AdamIsTalking July 10, 2017 at 3:41 pm

    BF Skinner's Pigeon Guided Missile sounds more like a prize on citation needed, rather than an answer on it…

  • Reply Ja-Shwa Cardell July 12, 2017 at 2:53 am

    why do you say "I've been Tom Scott"?
    It's not like you've, at any moment, stopped being Tom Scott, so why say it in the past tense?

  • Reply Magnus July 13, 2017 at 2:25 pm

    4:57 Matt Gray, sensible, nooooo.

  • Reply MultiPwolf July 14, 2017 at 5:59 pm

    Just imagine a group of Russians engaging in secretive talks when suddenly a dead fish lands right next to them and in hobbles a little cat with a flashing red diode and a little antenna behind its ear.

  • Reply Alex Walton July 21, 2017 at 1:20 am

    The window behind Tom in this whole series has the disappearing black dot optical illusion thing

  • Reply I'm Neopolitan July 22, 2017 at 7:50 am

    I guess cat bug takes a new meaning now.

  • Reply Wiccan Wanderer July 24, 2017 at 6:04 am

    Actually, that would be a "Sashimi Rolls Royce".

  • Reply Raymond Dean III July 27, 2017 at 1:33 pm

    Because its American.?!

  • Reply EpicJ July 31, 2017 at 7:59 pm

    Wait isn't this just discount QI?

  • Reply Tony Jay August 2, 2017 at 5:08 am

    This is the only one, that wakes me up and I start laughing about Gary's cat signs

  • Reply Seba Zabala August 5, 2017 at 3:09 pm

    "Spot on"
    "Well spot was all over it"

  • Reply Josh Adams August 5, 2017 at 3:31 pm

    I'm a bit surprised that there was no mention of Tom's remote controlled horse.

  • Reply DataCab1e August 15, 2017 at 6:26 pm

    I think the Today I Found Out channel is watching Citation Needed for topics. Last week they did "The Trials and Tribulations of 1904 Olympic Marathon Runners," and today it's "Pigeon Guided Missiles and Literal Bat Bombs."

  • Reply Patricia De Reyna August 16, 2017 at 1:41 pm

    i really like the joke about the jack elevating the kitty because that kind of jack in spain is called "gato" (cat)

  • Reply Peter Knutsen August 29, 2017 at 10:44 pm

    About half what you have now? Please explain…?

  • Reply voltare2amstereo September 28, 2017 at 4:39 am

    speaking of bomb shells, can you drive? i heard top gear needs some better hosts

  • Reply BadGamerGood October 4, 2017 at 2:22 am

    On that Batbomb

  • Reply Old Books at Midnight October 9, 2017 at 4:50 am

    a defector cat, huh

  • Reply Cal H October 9, 2017 at 4:00 pm

    To play off of Gary's comment of salmon with warheads strapped to them, the Allied forces did try training dolphins to plant magnetic mines on Axis boats … The problem was that the dolphins couldn't find the ships in the open seas and attacking them in harbour was not possible due to underwater defences against incursion by SOE!

  • Reply Sylv Aine October 16, 2017 at 6:21 pm

    What does it say on Gary's shirt and where do I get it?

  • Reply PhonyShoemaker October 22, 2017 at 3:34 pm

    That's not how evolution works.


  • Reply GreatDinn November 7, 2017 at 12:30 am

    7:05 I have to say, getting a cat to do the research goes a long way to explaining the $20 million. Tuition is expensive enough for people, let alone a cat scientist.

  • Reply dirm12 November 9, 2017 at 3:25 pm


  • Reply Allan Clayton November 20, 2017 at 5:50 am

    Meanwhile my cat is meowing incessantly while I watch this

  • Reply Zachary Perkins November 24, 2017 at 6:33 am

    what medical reason would require you to but a dress on a cat?

  • Reply The Science Of Life November 30, 2017 at 6:50 am

    2:08 – 4:05 The longest point ever!

  • Reply Duncan Ellis November 30, 2017 at 6:18 pm

    Project Pigeon was making dove bombers.

  • Reply Burning Wang December 3, 2017 at 1:32 am

    I'm watching all of these in reverse order. I'll see how far back I get before getting bored.

  • Reply Jorge Aguilar December 7, 2017 at 3:21 pm

    I take the prize as a sort of final jeopardy. This is such a great show, you guys are talented internetainers.

  • Reply Jwend392 December 9, 2017 at 6:49 am

    Hate to tell you this, Gary, but Disney beat you to your whole "spy cat" movie.!

  • Reply Wubalubadubdub December 10, 2017 at 6:37 am

    Metal Gear Feline 3: Mouse Eater

  • Reply Corey Reid December 13, 2017 at 8:25 pm

    You missed the chance to add "Mitsubishi" to the beginning of Matt's prize.

  • Reply Timeward December 15, 2017 at 1:30 pm

    Isnt the problem with the mine dogs because T34s ran on diesel while panzers ran on gas?

  • Reply hotscottrulz December 16, 2017 at 10:42 pm

    This remains my absolute favourite episode of Citation Needed so far! Amazing for such dark concepts…

  • Reply Exorikk December 18, 2017 at 4:15 am

    William Gibson came up with a great name for dogs with bombs strapped/implanted in them; Slamhounds.

  • Reply Amy K December 25, 2017 at 12:12 am

    If Gary Brannan thinks that acoustic cats are weird by CIA standards, he should check out "Men Who Stare At Goats".

  • Reply verdatum December 27, 2017 at 4:15 am

    "The anti-tank dog" "Was it a dog that really really didn't like tanks?" Moments I had to pause so I could finish laughing.

  • Reply dan b December 30, 2017 at 7:22 pm

    LOVED the kitty bank jab!!! *LOVED!!!

  • Reply Everest314 January 9, 2018 at 7:30 pm

    I thought it was going to be a Maserati Maki 🙁

  • Reply formerly 987946216430 January 16, 2018 at 11:20 pm

    I really enjoy these with the added excitement of an audience!

  • Reply MONOCHROME BOI January 17, 2018 at 3:47 pm

    I've got nothing against Matt Gray, but I really wanted Will Seaward to burst through the wall halfway through the episode in a dressing gown with a blade and six pistols, then duel everyone in the studio, burn it down and then continue the game outside.

  • Reply browser1611 January 18, 2018 at 4:22 am

    "You will be upgraded, Cat!"

  • Reply browser1611 January 18, 2018 at 5:03 am

    I was thinking of a Mitsusushi

  • Reply Pascal Sommer January 20, 2018 at 2:16 pm

    Does anyone else hear that faint sine wave humming at roughly 1'980Hz in the background?

  • Reply Flatrocker512 February 25, 2018 at 2:05 am

    Chris saying, "distractionate" was probably an accidental nod to the old Technical Difficulties TV show. There was a "distractionator" during The Battle of the Beer.

  • Reply SkTheJanner March 2, 2018 at 9:48 am

    Do do do do do Inspector Catget

  • Reply Spencer Hansen March 13, 2018 at 7:23 am

    It wouldn't need a parachute, because some cats can survive a fall at their terminal velocity

  • Reply Rawov Un Lupin March 25, 2018 at 2:12 pm

    Best season so far!

  • Reply lil.strawb3rry.cre4m xo April 10, 2018 at 12:41 pm

    I found this while searching about the acoustic cat

  • Reply Damien Tonkin April 28, 2018 at 4:38 pm

    Is anyone else picturing a parabolic dish in a cat’s bum?

  • Reply Damien Tonkin April 28, 2018 at 4:47 pm

    As someone that’s briefly studied behaviourism as part of my degree I’m wondering. How do you train a cat if you’ve bypassed its sense of hunger? Food rewards are about the only thing that work for a cat.

  • Reply Alex Greenwood May 30, 2018 at 10:40 pm

    Who else wishes Gary did 'Cat on a Car', like the 'Goose on a Train'??

  • Reply vtario5 June 15, 2018 at 12:31 am

    "And on that bombshell, I'm afraid it's time to end."
    I didn't realise this was a car show.

  • Reply mspenrice June 29, 2018 at 8:50 pm

    "C'mere, cat, I'm gonna play you like a saxophone"

  • Reply mspenrice June 29, 2018 at 9:02 pm

    If the Bourne films have taught me anything, it's that if the CIA are admitting to a particular programme, and labelling it as a failure, you can be sure they're actually using it as cover for something much darker and weirder.

    Also… Rokcat. Recatced.

  • Reply mspenrice June 29, 2018 at 9:15 pm

    Phillosophical question: should one get biscuited for knowing something that's been covered at length in a frequently repeated episode of QI?

  • Reply Blinx August 23, 2018 at 9:55 pm

    Gary’s cat movie is real. And old Disney movie “That Darn Cat”

  • Reply Terroto Rotbart August 25, 2018 at 9:46 pm

    Plot twist: The cat wasn't actually in the US, but the UK. The two men in the park were actually Matt & Tom doing a Park Bench video.
    I think…

  • Reply DanielsPolitics1 August 26, 2018 at 8:26 pm

    Parachutes were used to deliver cats in to thick forest to reduce the rat infestation. Being cats, they were dropped in cages designed to open on landing. Which makes perfect sense.

  • Reply Jack Guy September 6, 2018 at 11:19 am

    And not one Atomic Kitten joke

  • Reply Survival of the Fishiest October 11, 2018 at 12:01 pm

    Can someone explain the joke matt made that caused Gary to go: "Get Out!" Is Matt saying: "A loud bank? or bang?"

  • Reply Shingoke Shoryu October 14, 2018 at 1:21 pm

    I wasnt ready for the Bob Dylan joke

  • Reply Andreas Persson October 14, 2018 at 5:14 pm

    Just want you guys to know that you're awesome… and also horrible to listen to/watch while eating (kind of hard to chew while laughing…)

  • Reply Eyal Kalderon October 19, 2018 at 3:37 pm

    You never discussed the successful remote controlled animal experiments in the end!

  • Reply Rosie Fay October 25, 2018 at 6:56 pm

    One of the most gruesome, and yet most surreal, episodes I've watched so far!

  • Reply nuclear_potato October 29, 2018 at 10:07 pm

    I don't know why I never watched these before but citation needed is the funniest videos ever.

  • Reply diplomaticDeveloper November 8, 2018 at 6:12 am

    13:29 – Of f*cking COURSE it was BF Skinner.

  • Reply AJaxx November 12, 2018 at 8:34 pm

    16:15 I don't like that window…

    It's weird…

  • Reply alan smithee November 14, 2018 at 7:33 pm

    The Russians did have more crazy ideas with a different type of small furry animal: dogs.

    They trained dogs to search for food under tanks so that they could release them in battle with bombs strapped to them. They would rush under the enemy tanks and blow them up.

    However, karma struck fast as they had trained the dogs using Russian tanks. When the dogs were released they turned around and blew up their own side's tanks.

    Edit: I've been made redundant. 🙁

  • Reply supervegeta369 November 16, 2018 at 8:36 pm

    Best episode ever

  • Reply Jouva Moufette November 22, 2018 at 12:08 am

    Wow, Matt just KILLED it with this one!

  • Reply Aaron Brown November 24, 2018 at 7:45 pm

    20 million for a cat and a radio transmitter? Did they end up with a pile of dead cats?

  • Reply Thobiex November 25, 2018 at 3:59 am

    You could call it a catellite

  • Reply BriarHawk179 December 14, 2018 at 4:33 am

    So Russian Intelligence were making CatSats? i'll just leave now to escape the booing

  • Reply James Walter December 29, 2018 at 10:42 am

    glad to see they are making fun with it. Beluga caviar goes a long way. So would 20 million.

  • Reply Coen van Haaster March 4, 2019 at 9:32 am

    Technically the idea with the bat bombs (or at least, one other part of it) was that when dropped around or on the mostly-wooden Japanese cities, they would roost during the day in the roof beams and other dark hidden areas of the houses, so that the timed explosives strapped to them (which was filled with napalm) would easily set light to them in a manner far more precise and widespread than that of traditionally firebombing the town in question, because it would ignore firebreaks.

    The idea was proven to be successful and was ready for battlefield usage, but the creation and successful deployment of the atomic bomb made that entire idea moot, at which point it was simply cancelled.

  • Reply Sudoscoobs March 6, 2019 at 4:37 am

    I think this is my favorite episode of CN. And thats really saying something with how good they are.

  • Reply Samira Peri March 23, 2019 at 5:50 pm


  • Reply Elementalism :D May 14, 2019 at 8:41 pm

    you know how parents say your cat went to live with people on some far away farm?

    That sounds an awful lot like what the CIA chief is saying…

    "no, the 20 million $ cat wasn't hit with a car, it went off to live with a family far far away"

  • Reply demrandom May 18, 2019 at 11:55 pm

    I'd like to point out that the soviet antitank dog programme started in 1930, saw active combat use in 1941-1942, and got decomissioned… in 1990 when the soviet union started collapsing.

  • Reply ErikTheRed33 May 28, 2019 at 8:56 pm

    Don't forget the nuclear landmines buried with chickens to stop them from freezing in the winter

  • Reply columbus8myhw May 29, 2019 at 7:28 pm

    You never actually got to the remote-controlled animals

  • Reply *Insert stupid serial number here.* June 20, 2019 at 11:32 am

    I've heard the dogs got scared from all the noise and ran back into the trenches of the soviets…

  • Reply Peter Knutsen July 11, 2019 at 12:01 pm

    1960s dollars were worth half as much as today’s dollars? Really???

  • Reply A Carrot July 17, 2019 at 11:45 pm

    Gary Brannan was right, the RAF once para-dropped cats in Borneo to solve an outbreak of the plague.

  • Reply Random Citizen September 2, 2019 at 12:30 am

    16:46 Of course it was a Soviet plan. They sent a dog into space before they had invented a way for it to safely come back.

  • Reply caterina mastrogiacomo September 20, 2019 at 1:54 pm

    I remember that Monty Phiton segment! It was like "the mouse orchestra" and it wasn't too long but it was hilarious! God now I feel British

  • Reply Įßłż Ÿßęœ September 27, 2019 at 7:28 am

    7:02 ironically, Tuna is actually poisonous to cats

  • Reply Jo T. v.Z. October 9, 2019 at 9:47 pm

    wait, did they mic the cat before they even tried to see if it could be trained!?

  • Reply haiironezumi October 13, 2019 at 1:26 pm

    You win a ring of the star of Family Matters, owned by a Chancellor of Germany.
    It's Angela Merkel's Urkel circle.

  • Reply strider04 October 21, 2019 at 9:44 pm

    Project pigeon was american not british as were the bat bombs

  • Reply royalninja November 25, 2019 at 12:32 am

    Someone actually did that cat talking thing, but with a dog. Genuinely trained it to press buttons that say words. Said them in certain orders to convey more complex ideas.

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